Dear Abby column outsourced to India; will become Dear Abha
Following the death of Dear Abby columnist Abigail Van Buren on January 16th, the newspaper publishing group that owns the rights to the column has announced it will outsource the column to India. Egregious Publishing Company CEO Sigmund Gizzard...
Read full storyPBS to debut exciting new show calles "PBS Pledge Break!"
At a news conference today, PBS executives could barely contain their excitement as they provided details about their upcoming new television show PBS Pledge Break! "This is a new direction that will take us beyond great PBS programs like This Old H...
Read full storyCarole Middleton 'common, like Sibyl Fawlty' says leading etiquette publisher
London - "It was those special edition commemorative boxed sets of Come Whine 'N' Dine With Me she gave the Queen for Christmas that finally nailed the silly slapper," a Palace flunkey said today as De Brats Almanac of Bourgeois Snobbery published i...
Read full storyIlluminati predict Belgium's Queen Fabiola next for the chop as Dutch monarch finally chickens out
Amsterdam - The abdication of Holland's Queen Beatrix Potter has started a chain reaction with Belgian malingerer Queen Fabiola next for the chop according to Hellfire Club sources tonight. Beatrix has channeled the Dutch queen for 33 years on a l...
Read full storyDutch queen abdicates and advises QE2 to do the same!
In a sensible move, Queen Beatrix of Holland, has decided to abdicate and hand over the throne to her son, Prince Willem-Alexander, before she starts "kicking up tulips!" In her abdication speech she also advised British Queen Elizabeth to do the...
Read full storyTop West End dancer Kurt Silvey admits to practicing dance routines with a female shop mannequin
Well we never expected to hear this, but apparently this week Kurt Silvey has admitted to the rumours that most of the time he did not practice his dance routines with his partner, he actually did it with a female shop mannequin. Friends of the West...
Read full storyPoor memory linked to sheep problems
Researchers have found that memory problems - especially in older people - could be due to lack of sheep, causing lack of sleep. Many people used to rely on counting sheep to get a good night's sleep. But these days, due to lack of sheep,...
Read full storyFury over Angela Merkel's Nazi shag piles
Berlin - A huge row has blown up over German Chancellor Angela Merkel's soft furnishings after some crappy old rugs with long, rough piles gracing her Bundeskanzleramtshaggensquat orifice turned out to be Nazi memorabilia. Curators at the EU's Mus...
Read full storyPet tortoise makes rapid return
A pet tortoise disappeared from a house in Hooselow but was discovered after five minutes scooting back through the side entrance. This could well be a world record for the return of a pet tortoise. Most tortoises disappear for weeks at a time, an...
Read full storyKatie Holmes Says She's Giving Up Acting
NEW YORK CITY - The ex-Mrs. Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, has vowed to give up the silver screen and move on to another career field. Holmes, recently spoke with Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle at a Shanghai Sue's Sushi Sandwich Shop in Manhat...
Read full storyRajon Rondo Injured - The Boston Celtics Playoff Hopes Appear To Be Gone With The Wind
BOSTON - Several sports reporters are saying that Rajon Rondo's injury is yet another example of the Boston Tri-Curses. Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily stated that it appears to be a sign of The Curse of The Bambino. He also adde...
Read full storyBeyonce Admits to Lip-Syncing Apology for Faking National Anthem
Los Angeles, CA - In a shocking turn of events liable to further upset her harshest critics, Grammy Award winning pop star Beyonce Knowles has now admitted to lip-synching an apology for her recent lip-synced performance of the American national...
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