Bathroom Etiquette No Laughing Matter At All-Midget Clown Convention
SAN DIEGO, CA - Violence erupted at the first ever all-midget clown convention Tuesday night after a gang of half-pint jesters got into a brawl in a bathroom stall. The convention, comprised of clowns no taller than of 3 ½ ft, started off o...
Read full storyWith Defense Cuts Looming, Congress Considers Declaring War on Canada Because "It's Closer Than Afghanistan."
With just two days remaining before $85 billion is cut from the federal budget, members of Congress said today they're introducing measures to lessen the impacts of the sequester. According to Rep. Rigley Higspirt, one proposal being discussed is...
Read full storyFood Poisoning The Latest Weight Loss Craze in Hollywood
HOLLYWOOD, CA - Some of the hottest celebrities in Tinseltown have been spotted with shopping carts full of expired foods from their local grocery stores in a strange effort to get on board the latest weight loss epidemic - food poisoning. Accord...
Read full storyPetroecuador to be official sponsor of next week's Papal Conclave
Quito - Described by the Ecuador Creative Dentistry Association as an absolute genius in the exploration and extraction of gaping cavities Ecuador's national oil company has been named as PR manager for the 115-man contest. Announcing the decision...
Read full storyHorse Meat Found in Popular Fastfood Joint's 'McShamrock Shake'
HOUSTON, TX - Continuing the string of alarming discoveries about the prevalence of horse meat found in consumer products, the fast food sector is now facing increased scrutiny over an FDA report citing horse meat detected in their seasonal 'McShamro...
Read full storyMiracles of Pope Benedict Revealed
Vatican City -- As he retires as the mystical leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict is being honored for the miracles he performed while pontiff. Among the amazing feats with which he is credited are these wonders: Converted the Pope Mobil...
Read full storyPope Snags Job As Wal-Mart Greeter
Soon-to-be former Bishop of Rome, Successor of St. Peter, Head of the College of Bishops, Vicar of Christ, and Pastor of the Universal Church: Pope Benedict XVI has snagged a new part-time job as a Wal-Mart greeter at a superstore in Raleigh, North C...
Read full storyRyan Seacrest Reveals The Truth About How Kristen Stewart Hurt Her Foot
REDONDO BEACH, California - Kristen Stewart was sitting in a booth at the popular Flamboyant Tortilla Restaurant. As she sat all alone eating an order of bacon and broccoli breakfast tacos she was overheard talking to herself. A restaurant patr...
Read full storyBritney Spears - The Brunette Babe Is Looking Foxy
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Former X-Factor judge Britney Spears has left the World of Blondes and she has become a strikingly attractive brunette. Spears, 31, attended a private party thrown by Elton John at The Mrs. Teddy Roosevelt Hotel in West Hollywood.
Read full storyJack "The Old Geezer" Nicholson, 75, Hits On Jennifer Lawrence 22
HOLLYWOOD - In a backstage at the Oscars move that even surprised himself, Jack Nicholson, the 75-year-old actor, hit on 22-year-old Jennifer Lawrence who had just won the Oscar for Best Actress for her role in Silver Linings Playbook. Jen was bei...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Deny The Baby Rumors
BEVERLY HILLS - The stars of The Vampire Diaries, Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder, were recently spotted in the trendy Rodeo Drive baby store Baby Rattles, Playpens, & Stuff giving way to speculation that Dobrev is with child. The supermarket...
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