Wayne LaPierre Ousted As Representative Of NRA For Being Too 'Frenchy'.
Wayne LaPierre, outspoken mouthpiece of the NRA has been removed from his position of Vice-President due to a large number of powerful members of the organization being opposed to his having 'too Frenchy' a name. John Howitzer, Montana rancher and...
Read full storyObama launches BRAIN initiative, ignores Pinky
Washington DC- President Obama announced a $100 million initiative to map and understand the human brain. This idea, repeatedly suggested to him by the First Lady and his daughters is primarily geared at helping humanity understand one basic questio...
Read full storyGOP Thought Police blocks Obama's Human Brain Mapping project
Washington - A $100 million research project allowing the President of the United States unprecedented access to read the minds of the country's enemies has suffered a setback. The scheme, thought to include controversial Presidential 'X-ray' spec...
Read full storyDolphins decide never to help humans again!
Solomon Islands, today: The slaughtering of innocent dolphins continues unabated and if Japanese butcherers were not enough, Solomon Island inhabitants have also decided to cull innocent dolphins swimming in their shores. The dolphins have had en...
Read full storyCyprus Banks Take Back Toasters, Ruin Breakfast
Nicosia, Cyprus - The shiny toasters that bank customers received for opening new accounts are being confiscated by the financial institutions that gifted them. Objective: to help ease this country's multibillion euro debt crisis. "No, this is not...
Read full storyMix and Match Red Sox and Celtics: You Can't Tell Them Apart
BOSTON-- We were struck on the first game of the season for the Red Sox that they could easily change roles with counterparts on the Boston Celtics. Obviously we have been drawing parallels between Rajon Rondo and Jacoby Ellsbury for years. This...
Read full storyBush II Library re-ignites long running argument.
DALLAS TX- The grand opening of the George W. Bush presidential library on May 1st has sparked a great deal of controversy. The opening has re-ignighted one of the great debates of our time. Who's superheroes are more badass? While the Supreme Cou...
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