Paranormal activity sees Madonna ditch her Ghostbusters Building apartment
New York - "The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man stole hundreds of pairs of her Agent Provocateur undies," is how one Central Park West realtor put it as Madonna's stunning $23.5million duplex came onto the market, "no wonder she had to have her, er, vajazz...
Read full storyIsle of Wight to Standardize Population Signage
The Isle of Wight will be rolling out new signage next year for the outskirts of all cities, towns and villages announcing the name of the community and population. All communities going forward will have a standardized format sign with the same font...
Read full storyCandles ignite stripper's fart: explosion injures 20 Shriners in Massachusetts!
SPRINGIELD, Massachusetts (ABSNN) - A nude dancer performing an "amazing, near flawless split" accidentally passed gas and nearby table candles ignited the fart "causing a huge natural gas explosion at the Scores Gentlemen's Club," say fire fighters...
Read full storyItalians Vote to Give "David" A Bigger Salami
Florence, Italy - Italians go to the poles (no pun intended) to vote for a new leader and members of parliament on Monday. Like in America, there are other issues up for public contemplation on the ballot as well, such as austerity measures, pension...
Read full storyNew Sub-Culture Of Zombies Reap Mayhem Thoughout Chain Stores On Black Friday
Reports have been coming in from across the country of a rash of zombie-like masses rushing about specific chain stores in large communities in a feeding like frenzy. Zombieologists, a newly developed scientific category that specifically studies zom...
Read full storyStatues to be erected all over the planet in honour of total arseholes!
After the stunning success of Sir Alex Ferguson having his statue revealed at the Theatre of Dreams in Manchester, the United Nations, FIFA and Jaggedone (who?), have decided to erect statues to some of the world's greatest arseholes in places where masses of pigeons (and other birds) can shit all over them (SAF is not an arsehole BTW!). The statues would then become symbols of human madness an...
Read full storyDemi Moore Despises Ashton Kutcher's Girlfriend Mila Kunis
VENICE BEACH - Demi Moore had gone down to Venice Beach on a shopping spree. As she was trying on a pair of sandals at a local shoe store she was approached by Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors. Moore was asked how she was feeling in regards to hitti...
Read full storyKirstie Alley Fears She Is Going To Explode
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kirstie Alley was extremely sad and upset when she was recently eliminated from Dancing With The Stars: The All Stars Edition. She told a close friend that she will certainly miss the daily ritual of being in Maksim Chmerkovskiy'...
Read full storyLeicester Man Causes Public Transport Kerfuffle
We've not seen any perillous edge-of-your-seat bus related rhubarbery since Keanu Reeves' blockbuster film 'Speed'. That's unless you believe seventy-three year old Leicester man Maurice Cataract's story. Following the collapse of a driver on t...
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