Repentant Yorkshireman Admits KFC Gravy Blunder
Yorkshireman, Ken Mither, of Cleckhuddersfax today made a public apology for intimating that fast food chain, KFC, failed in its duty of customer service by neglecting to provide gravy with their chips. Mither, 64, had previously stated that he ha...
Read full storySpanza47b. (Part One)
"Cheers Fred, good 'elf mate. Look at that, does a lovely pint of beer landlord does 'ere. Gonna enjoy that I am. Yeah, so as I was saying, last Friday evening it was, 'bout ten t' midnight. I was sitting in me armchair in me living room, just mindin' me own business as yer do. Tryin' t' do me Daily Express Sodtodoko puzzle I was, the harder one like 'cause I'd already mucked up the easy one ea...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez To Record A Valentine's Day CD Based On The Songs of Led Zeppelin
TARZANA - Justin Bieber and his girlfriend Selena Gomez were enjoying Southern California' wonderfully, warm, wintertime, weather as they visited the famed Tarzan & Jane Petting Zoo. The couple who have visited the petting zoo before walked ar...
Read full storyChelsea players refuse to shake hands with John Terry!
In the wake of the racist scandal the game between QPR and Chelsea started off in a very strange manner. Chelsea players lined up to shake hands with their QPR opponents, which all went well. After they shook hands John Terry offered his hand to h...
Read full storyDavid Bowie To Record New Album In Giant Glass Spider - On Mars!
Back in the 1970s, androgynous glam-rock star David Bowie posed the intriguing question: "Is There Life On Mars?" It seems that if there isn't, after all, there soon will be, as Bowie plans to fly to Mars in a giant glass spider, equipped with a f...
Read full storyLocal Man Fumes As Kop Celebrates Dramatic Late Winner
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, was left furiously chewing the curtains with his false teeth this afternoon, after Dirk Kuyt pounced in the 89th minute to lash the ball past a flailing David DeGea in front of a jubilant Kop. Kuyt's winner came on t...
Read full storyAfrica Cup of Nations: John Terry flies in to shake hands with players
John Terry made a dramatic flight to Africa last night in a bid to clear his name of racism. Terry will appear before the CPS this week after an incident in October when Chelsea played QPR where tv cameras showed him mouthing something towards Ant...
Read full storyMoreCrap! magazine puts heavily 'bleached' pic of Michelle Obama on front cover
New York - "Can't imagine why they thought Michelle's stunning ebony skin isn't good enough for their precious rag," celebwatch site LA HagFagSlagMag.con's editor commented today, "it has to be one of her best features." The 'I want to open a secr...
Read full storyQuicky divorce laws, the sceptics were right
Critics of the new 'easy divorce' laws finally have a case to back up their claims that the law will lead to failed marriages that could have been saved, when Kevin and Maureen Galbraith of Sheffield got divorced this week after twenty years of marri...
Read full storySantorum opposes abortion even in cases of alien abduction
HARRISBURG, PA - GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum further dug a hole for himself this week after telling reporters that he opposes terminating a pregnancy even if an alien impregnated a woman. Asked what he would say if his own daughter ap...
Read full storyWhat a Bloody Cheek!
Husband: Them Bankers. What a cheek. We help them out when things are bad and what do we get? A kick in the teeth. It shouldn't be allowed. Wife: You can't blame them. You would be exactly the same if someone offered you a million. H. No I wouldn't. W. You bloody well would! H. It wouldn't be moral. W. Since when has morality got you anywhere. H. No. I've got my self-respect. It...
Read full storyThe Thing
Wife: Have you seen that thing anywhere? Husband: What thing is that? W: You know, the thing you use. H. What thing would that be? W. You really are hopeless! H. But I don't know what you are talking about. W. Excuses, excuses. It's always the same with you. You don't know one thing from another! H. I don't know anything. W. You've said it! Now can you tell me where that thing is? H. It c...
Read full storySocial Media Halted; Few Users Are Reading Contributions of Others
The social media stoppage may not be forever; in fact, it will probably last only a few weeks. But starting next Wednesday -- for a limited time -- there will be NO social media whatsoever. Al Gore, founder of the Internet, made the announcement...
Read full storyPensioner Ejected from Bus in Nottingham - Police attended the ensuing fracas
A public disturbance took place yesterday on Mansfield Road, outside the Victoria Centre Shopping main entrance in Nottingham City centre. Police were called to a fracas on a number 58 bus, as the driver tried to eject a male pensioner, who it see...
Read full storyPolitical News for W/E 28th January 2012 - with comments
22nd January 2012: David Cameron's finance chief to face business fine Link - Daily Mirror David Cameron's money man at Tory HQ will be forced to pay a fine after his firm broke business rules. Tory Party co-chairman Lord Feldman's family business will have to pay the penalty after failing to file accounts on time. The breach is revealed just days after PM David Cameron urged firms to clean...
Read full storyMy Senior Moments this week - W/E 28th January 2012
Sunday 22nd Jan 2012: * No Senior Moments to report today, unless of course, had one occurred that had taken affect at a later time, that my limited observational and memory cells had missed, by which time I would have become aware of its happening in which case it may be recorded elsewhere in this log, if I remember it. (I think)] Monday 23rd Jan 2012: * Caught bus to go to the dentist appoi...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Has Invited Rob Pattinson To Travel With Her Down To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
HOLLYWOOD - Rob Pattinson, the star of the Twilight series, has just received what he is calling one of the best offers he has ever had. Pattinson said that out of the blue he received a phone call from Kim Kardashian. She asked him how his brand...
Read full storyKop To Sing 'You'll Never Walk Alone' In Swahili In Order To Refute Racism Allegations
Sources on Merseyside are reporting that Liverpool Football Club, in order to save face over the Luis Suarez racism allegations, and the club's subsequent stand in support of the striker, have distributed the lyrics of 'You'll Never Walk Alone' in Sw...
Read full storySoweto Stands Firmly Behind Man United And QPR On FA Cup 4th Round Anti-Racism Day
In the wake of a torrent of racist allegations against Chelsea's John Terry, and Liverpool's loose cannon, Luis Suarez, and completely overlooking the fact that the FA, although currently campaigning to 'kick racism out of football' don't quite appea...
Read full storyYorkshireman Flatly Refuses KFC Lunchbreak Snack
Yorkshireman, Ken Mither, 64, of Cleckhuddersfax, today stunned work colleagues by flatly refusing to join them in a lunchbreak KFC takeaway. It seems it's traditional for the team, that when they're working the late shift (2-10pm) of a Friday, one o...
Read full storyBollywood's Aishwarya Rai To Star With Hollywood's Heidi Montag In The R-Rated Film "Control, Alt, Delete"
HOLLYWOOD - Tri-Moon Films in association with Candlelight Productions has just announced that filming will soon begin on their latest collaboration Control, Alt, Delete. The R-rated motion picture which will be directed by Sheboygan Saddlewood wi...
Read full storyWoman Becomes First to Marry a Corporation
Local woman, Elizabeth Potter, will be the first person to actually marry a corporation. The Supreme Court ruled that corporations have the same rights and responsibilities as a person. Potter states that her marriage to Apple, Inc will help en...
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