Paxman In Nipple Fueled Controversial Love Triangle Fury
Jeremy Paxman had surgery yesterday to repair a broken blood vessel in his left nipple. However, the nipple was so hairy that the surgeon had to order in a special garden strimmer to cut the hair around the nipple, and then Paxman accidentally cut hi...
Read full storyRachael Ray Has Thirty Minute Breakdown
The Seattle Times said it was bound to happen: Rachael Ray has thirty minute breakdown. After whipping up meals on a nightly basis in just thirty minutes for the last five years, including a hour long Thanksgiving supper, Ms. Ray collapsed behind her...
Read full storyFundamentalists Announce New Profanity Campaign in Support of Bush
St. Petersburg - Following President Bush's timely use of the "sh*t" word in discussing international strategy with Tony Blair, Christian fundamentalists announced a new campaign to promote profanity to get the job done.
Read full storySt Ken Lay's funeral cost Vatican Bank $10 million
Aspic, Colorado - (AssoCIAted Mess): Newly released figures show that last week's funeral of Enron martyr St Ken Lay of Houston cost the Vatican Bank more than $10 million, mainly in appearance fees put in by the former P2 satanic Lodge luminari...
Read full storyMan Pummeled by Wife after Presenting Her with PMS Chocolate 'Wonder' Bar
Ned Niceguy, 38, was hospitalized yesterday with a broken leg and fractured jaw, wounds sustained when he was attacked by his wife Nora, 32, after he had presented her with a PMS Chocolate Wonder Bar bought at a specialty store. Apparently Nora had...
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