Bush Abdicates!
WASHINGTON (AP) The White House was in turmoil this afternoon as it became evident that President George Bush abdicated his office. Sometime in the middle of the previous night, Marine 1, the president's helicopter, made a trip to Andrews AFB, but n...
Read full storyJennifer Lopez Debuts New Line of Trailer Trash Haute Couture
Shirley Knott: HOLLYWOOD - Well, she has gone and done it: Jennifer Lopez today debuted her new line of fresh and trashy tart wear that simply screams to be worn by trailer park debutantes across the nation. Dubbing her new line Two...
Read full storyOpus Dei: "MMR vaccine causes homosexuality"
Vatican City, Thursday 10 March (Rioters) - Startling new evidence from the Pontifical College of Creation Sciences has been published in Rome today which claims a direct causative link between the much derided Measles, Mumps and Myrobella - 'M...
Read full storySupreme Court nominee John Roberts is Confident
WASHINGTON (AP) Since his nomination to the Supreme Court by President Bush, John Roberts has been living large. John has a big new spring of confidence, a generous swelling of pride, and the one thing every man deserves: a little well-earned respec...
Read full storyIran to Continue Playing with Plutonium
TEHRAN (Wreuters) - Iran's new President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said on Saturday the Islamic Republic "Thumbs its nose at the E.U. and U.S. and plans to continue playing with plutonium." Ahmadinejad continues, "Pressing our luck is the Iranian way.
Read full storyNew Refinery Process Turns Democrats into Oil
PHILADELPHIA (UPI)--An industrial park in Philadelphia hosts a new machine that can change most any type of carbon-based substance into oil.
Read full storyWhite House Opens Its Doors to Republican Refugees from New Orleans
WASHINGTON (AP)-The White House has opened its doors to dozens of Republican refugees from New Orleans who have been housed in various rooms scattered throughout the historic pile...
Read full storyComplete Idiot's Guide: How To Grow A Liberal
LOS ANGLES, CA (Barnes & Noble)-Hoping to replenish dwindling membership in the Democratic Party, leading American liberal Democrats have just announced the results of over 200 years of politico-horticultural research and experimentation on the origi...
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