Supreme Court nominee John Roberts is Confident

Funny story written by Morgan Truce

Sunday, 18 September 2005

image for Supreme Court nominee John Roberts is Confident
"John is doing well... very well indeed!"

WASHINGTON (AP) Since his nomination to the Supreme Court by President Bush, John Roberts has been living large. John has a big new spring of confidence, a generous swelling of pride, and the one thing every man deserves: a little well-earned respect from the neighborhood.

Growing up in Indiana, Roberts, his parents and his three sisters lived in a comfortable but unremarkable split-level home about two blocks from Lake Michigan. Family life revolved around the steel plant and Notre Dame Catholic Church, where the family worshipped and the children attended school.

Roberts doesn't mention acting talent on his resume, but his role as Peppermint Patty in a high school play may say as much about him as his other achievements.

Friends said Roberts was one of the few students at his all-boys Roman Catholic boarding school who had the self-confidence to withstand the razzing from classmates after standing onstage in a dress.

But then Roberts has always stood out from the crowd.

At Harvard, John learned to swing a golf club with ease and precision. "He was always in full control of his wood," says one of his classmates. "We could never guess where John stood on most of the important political issues of the day, but we knew that some day John would do well… very well indeed."

John's wife, Jane Sullivan Roberts, is also a lawyer. They have two adopted children, a 4-year-old boy and a 5-year-old girl. A Catholic like her husband, Jane Roberts has been deeply involved in the anti-abortion movement. She lends her name, money and professional advice to a small Washington-based organization -- Feminists for Life of America Inc. -- that offers counseling and educational programs. Jane remains a very happy camper back at the clubhouse while John swings his well-balanced wood on the golf course.

a very happy camper..."


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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