Yankees to Execute "Old and New" Relief Pitcher Strategy
NEW YORK, NY - To no one's surprise, Flamboyant Yankees GM Brian Cashman unveiled a new relief pitcher strategy today, just one day after a large position player shake up that involved Hideki Matsui moving from left field to center field, Tony Wo...
Read full storyJesus Joins Film cast of DaVinci Code
The film version of the DaVinci code is set to begin production in June for a Spring 2006 release. The lead male role has been given to Tom Hanks. In a stunning victory for director Ron Howard he convinced Jesus to play himself in the film Version...
Read full storyHitler's dentist describes Adolf's final days
SUMMERVILLE, N.J. -- Adolf Hitler was a shivering, boney, weakened man who sang to himself in the days before his suicide in 1945, according to a newly published account of Adolf's dentist, Emil Brustermeister, who cared for Adolf's mouth as Allied f...
Read full storyBlair Lies Again? British Government Cover Up Over Genetically Modified Politicians
Mad Cow disease was believed to have been eradicated from Britain but now it has been discovered again in small field near the top secret Portman Down facility used to test Genetically Modified crops. The GM crops are fed to a range of farm animals i...
Read full storyItalian Bigotry Exposed in Checkpoint Shooting
An Italian government investigation into the shooting death of agent Nicola Calipari and the wounding of freed hostage journalist Giuliana Sgrena has sharply disagreed with an American military report regarding the same incident. While the United St...
Read full storyAttorneys: Pvt. England Has "Pointer Dog Syndrome"
Pvt. England's Defense attorneys today disclosed one of the Army's most closely guarded secrets: the former Abu Ghraib clerk has "Pointer Dog Syndrome". Essentially, she has the mentality of a mediocre hunting dog and will point at anything. It was o...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Fathers Brood of Puppies
Torrance, CA - The self-proclaimed "King of Pop" is at it again, this time in a slightly different manner. In an interspecies mating first, Michael Jackson has become the proud father of six cocker spaniel puppies.
Read full storyPaganism rages in Britain
BOXBERRY, Great Britain -- A new study indicates that Paganism and the ancient art of witchcraft are on the rise in Britain. "Television, the World Wide Web, environmentalism, lo-carb diets and even feminism have all played a role in the resurgence,"...
Read full storyeBay Prosecutes First "Bid-snatcher"
Here you sit waiting for the final minutes to drip by as you wait expentantly for the Limmited Edition signed XXL black T-Shirt from the premiere party of Hellraiser III to drop into your sweaty stubby fingers. Then, just as you throw back the last g...
Read full storyBlair & Bush Love Child
In a seemingly last ditch effort to remain head of the British Labour Party and victorious in the up coming election, the Prime Minister's advisory team, located in the basement of Number 10, have decided they must endeavor to erase the Blair ima...
Read full storyPope Appoints Washington New Patron Saint
WASHINGTON, DC - Washington area Catholics are gearing up for one of the most important religious events of the new century. Due to the extreme difficulty in finding any verifiable virgins over the age of 11 in the nation's capital, His Holin...
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