Bush Inauguration to be paid for with Social Security Money
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The White House today announced that more than $500,000,000,000 will be "borrowed" from the Social Security fund to help host the second inauguration of President George W. Bush. White House sources cite numerous...
Read full storyAbu Ghraib Guards Ink Book Deal
Fraternity Hazing Manual and How-To Guides in the Works...
Read full storyPrince Harry Grounded!
LONDON --- Lord Alfred N. Ospin, Royal Administrator of Public Dispatches, denied rumors that Prince Harry's Nazi-hijinks have earned him a dark cell in the notorious London Tower. Neither is the young prince facing execution by beheading. Instead, t...
Read full storyBush Changes QWERTY to BLAIRTY
‘Who is responsible for designing this keyboard?' was the latest outburst from the troubled President Bush when he tried to use a word processor for the first time.
Read full storyHalo! magazine to publish Provos' decommissioning pics
Soremount Castle, Northern Ireland, Monday 17 January - (Rioters) In a seminal landmark announcement, the Provisional IRA has finally agreed a multi-million ££££ deal to publish its controversial arms decommissioning photographs in Halo! magazin...
Read full storyUS Vows to Win Back Oldest Mom Title
Not to be outdone, George W. Bush has vowed to move heaven and earth to give the United States back its title of having the oldest woman ever to give birth.
Read full storyCIA Cracks Osama's Pig Latin Code
The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) announced yesterday that its code-cracking experts have deciphered a hidden message found at the end of Osama bin Laden's most recent address to the American people. Mr. bin Laden's address, which some observers...
Read full storyNew Princess Diana Memorial Unveiled
LONDON (Rotters) -- Only a week after a Royal Parks spokesman's announcement that the costly (£3.6m) trouble-plagued Hyde Park fountain dedicated to Princess Diana was being demolished for another, more cost-effective model, delighted visitor...
Read full storyAOL acquires Nuclear Capability
With the overwhelming success of the Google IPO, shareholders have been applying pressure to AOL Time Warner to bring AOL back to the top of the NASDAQ Index.
Read full storyScientists Create Bullshit Powered Car
Detroit, Michigan - Scientists have created a new hybrid car that runs, for the most part, on the fumes emitted when human beings lie or bullshit.
Read full storyBit of Iraq Missing
Nearly 350 square Miles of Iraq have vanished from a heavily guarded sector of the country, the UN says.
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