Cat alleged to have Hitler's soul
Bremem, Germany-A cat belonging to Hess Guelfer is believed to posses the soul of Nazi felon Adolf Hitler. Suspicions began when the cat selectively attacked Jews near the community.
Read full storyAren't you sick of celebrities who say they hate living in the public eye?
I must admit, I have a pet peeve. I am tired of hearing about celebrities who hate living in the public eye. At the height of the whole Bennifer thing, both he and Jennifer Lopez tried to say that it was the paparazzi that ruined their relationship and it's so hard to be a celebrity and you don't have a private life and everyone cares about the most minute thing you do and, then, t...
Read full storyBush Apologizes for Iraqi Torture: Says, "Me Bad"
Washington, DC -- Today, President Bush apologized for the abuse scandal after taking an urgent phone call from famed celebrity apologist, Just...
Read full storyCharlton Heston Gives Goodbye Speech
Noted actor, sportsman and conservative activist Charlton Heston, who has previously announced that he is battling Alzheimer's disease announced during a talk given to the Altedena, California chapter of Young Americans for Guns on 1 May 2004 that he...
Read full storyNorth Korea Admits It Has Nuclear Weapons
Admitting the truth, finally, after decades of denials, North Korea acknowledged its Nuclear Program has succeeded in producing a working 1/37th Kiloton Atomic Bomb.
Read full storyMississippians get together, hammer out complete sentence.
-Monkeys angered but still working hard.
Read full storyKerry Dumps Depp, Chooses Jay Leno
In a complete surprise to everyone, including himself, John Kerry has already dropped Johnny Depp and chosen Jay Leno to be his VP in the upcoming general erection. When asked about this perplexing decision, Kerry said: "It's in Jay's ch...
Read full storyMartha Stewart "A mean, ugly bitch" according to court ruling
New York - The New York Court of Appeals today turned down yet another request by Martha Stewart's defense team that her case be reopened on grounds that she is mean and ugly bitch.
Read full storyGod to put humanity up for lease due to record low fundraising
Today God Almighty announced that due to record low fundraising he is forced to put up humanity up for lease or possible sale. "It just costs too much, I mean the lighting bill up here is a real Bitch" God said in his east Haven penthouse.
Read full storyIraqi War Widow "Forced to do The Funky Chicken"
The Daily Mirror printed fresh allegations against British troops serving in Basra this morning after one Iraqi war widow insisted she was "forced to do the funky chicken".
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush Launches attack on chocolate cake
Washington - During an early afternoon press conference today, President George W. Bush's attention was suddenly caught and diverted by a large chocolate cake at the nearby refreshments table.
Read full storyAmerican Idol Stunner: Simon Cowell Fired For Sexually Harassing Paula Abdul
LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell was fired from American Idol this morning for sexually harassing Paula Abdul. Sources close to Miss Abdul say that she is livid. Apparently, six months ago, Simon bet Paula that he'd have her "spanking daddy" in bed, within...
Read full storyRumsfeld Appoints Gorilla Head of Military Prisons
Washington - Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today announced the hiring of a new Chief of Detainee Operations. Secretary Rumsfeld held a press conference in which he named Bobo the gorilla Chief of Operations for Gitmo and all prison facilities...
Read full storyAthens Olympics 2004. Security concerns mount as Greek taxi gets flat tyre
ATHENS, GREECE The flat tyre drew reaction from governments around the globe, sporting bodies and athletes around the world. One diplomat based in...
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush Pounding Nails Into His Own Head, X-Rays Reveal
Washington -- Doctors at Bethesda Hospital gave the President a CAT scan today and made a discovery that puts the activities of the Bush Administration into stark and horrific focus.
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