Dogs May Anticipate Stupidity in Children, Study Shows
Can you really know if little Johnny or Betsy will be a smart, upstanding adult or just another bump in the road working at a drive through? The answer may actually lie with your family dog, according to a new preliminary study.
Read full storyBear Carnage Hits The Street!
The bears were out in Wall Street earlier today, as amid scenes not witnessed since the black day of 1929, stocks tumbled faster than pit traders could pick them up.
Read full storyAtlantic Ocean Vanishes; Americans Prepare to Drive to Europe
London, UK, and New York, NY--There is no more water in the Atlantic Ocean, and scientists are calling this spontaneous example of draining "the Bathtub Syndrome."...
Read full storyUS Men's Synchronized Swim Team Ready For Athens
The United States Men's Synchronized Swimming Team reports that it is ready to take on the world this summer at the Olympic games in Athens.
Read full storyTaking the bulls by their poisonous horns in Pamplona
PAMPLONA, Spain -- This Spanish town's famous bull-running event, featuring stampeding animals galloping through the streets in reckless abandon along with humans, has a new twist to it this year-poison horn tips.
Read full storyBush Drops Out!
Washington (July 8) --- This morning President Bush announced that he will be dropping out of this years presidential election.
Read full storySaddam to invade Canada
Saddam Hussein has confirmed that should he be elected as the next president of the United States, he will immediately invade "those Canadian dogs".
Read full storyNew Threat to Mankind Identified
Today, I have what may be bad - and shocking - news.
Read full storyWhite House to Improve Top-Secret Communications Gear !
WASHINGTON (AP) Stung recently by leaks of top-secret communications between the White House and France, President George W. Bush has asked the CIA to install the latest high tech secure phones. The special telecommunications equipment designed by Mi...
Read full storyEnron officials indicted, reveal plan was world domination
HOUSTON - Former Enron CEO Kenneth Lay surrendered to authorities and the government's charges against him are only part of his wide-ranging scheme to deceive the public, company shareholders, government regulators while he mounted a plan for th...
Read full storyMetropolitan Police Chief quits over Cherie shockhorror
(New Scotland Yard, SW1) London is reeling tonight at the news that Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir John Stevens has quit over allegations that he has pro-actively covered up the 35 year long IRA career of Cherie Booth QC and that he is persona...
Read full storyEx-Enron supremo Lay charged with 9/11 Freud
(Washington, Rioters) - Former Enron Corp. Chairman and Chief Executive Kenneth Lay was today indicted for a total of 9 out of 11 counts of conspiracy to commit Freud, false and misleading statements, fraudulent transactional analyses, fleecing vu...
Read full storyPresident Bush Receives Spot Civics Lesson
Washington DC - In response to a reporter's question on how John Edwards compares to Vice President Cheney, President Bush replied, "Dick Cheney could be president?" This remark drew a stunned silence from the assembled media and a quick, whispered...
Read full storyBristol To Decare Independence From United Kingdom.
In a shock announcement this morning, the major of Bristol, councillor Cray De-Walsh, declared he would lead the partition to separate Bristol from the United Kingdom, and thereby instigate "the birth of a new super state in the South West." "We have been in talking with the E.U. and an announcement is pending when my secretary gets it typed up."...
Read full storyClinton Library to Open
Documents from the Clinton Era White House have begun the journey to the new Clinton presidential library in downtown Little Rock, Arkansas from their storage area in an old car dealership in the same city. More than 630 tons of documents or some 80...
Read full story'Adopt an Army' Program is a Hit!
Unconfirmed Sources report that the new 'Adopt an Army' program has landed a major sponsor. Target, owner of hundreds of retail stores will be the core sponsor of the program. Troops seem to love the program that helps them connect with famil...
Read full storyAlabama Made Computers: An Oxymoron?
Hope Springs Eternal, Ala. (AP) - You can special order one from the back pages of a comic book, but most of Miltopia laptop computers go to Afghanistan, Iraq and wherever American combat troops are assigned around the world. They are also the first...
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