Latest Study Shows Linkage between On-Hold Music and Headaches
Boston - Researchers at Boston College have found a significant link between severe headaches and the amount of time people spend on hold listening to preprogrammed music.
Read full story"Hi, I'm Billy Mays for OxiClean!"
CULVERT, IOWA (AP) You're watching TV late at night down in the den. The rest of the family is upstairs sound asleep. You've got the volume turned way down as you listen to just one more repeat of stale news. Then, out of nowhere you are suddenly thr...
Read full storyRummy Still Suffering "South of the Border"
Bethesda, MD - Earlier this month, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was given a clean bill of health by Dr. Jeremy North at the Bethesda Medical Center following a prostrate cancer scare. However, all is not well in Mr. Rumsfeld's nether regions...
Read full storySenate Sets Up Road Blocks To Gay Marriage
By Davido Devadip Espinosa Mexico City AP,...
Read full storyCountry Club Serves Cat Head Hors D'oeuvres
CRYSTAL LAKE, IL-- The Shady Pines country club in Crystal Lake Illinois Shocked guests of a wedding reception on Saturday when they served severed cat heads as appetizers before dinner.
Read full storyCoca-Cola Decides to Fight Back at Terrorists
Ricky Von Schmidt, July 6, 2004 United Kingdom Press...
Read full storyAlistair Campbell dumps Clinton UK TV interview
London (Rioters) - TV chiefs reacted with dismay today at the news that ex-Blair spin doctor Alistair Campbell has dropped his forthcoming interview with Bill Clinton on live UK prime time following dismal British sales of his memoir "Mi Lai&quo...
Read full storyGay Marriage Ban has Married People Up in Arms
A new poll finds most Americans are against a Gay Marriage Ban Amendment while at the same time are against homosexuals marrying. One of the poll respondents, Festus P. Hymen of Billings, Montana said, " Well shit, of course I wish I had a gay marria...
Read full storyAmerican democracy put on hold
Citing increasing fear of a terrorist attack, the White House announced this morning that all future American elections are to be cancelled until further notice.
Read full storyJohn Kerry's planned convention speech leaked
Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe is engaged in a desperate attempt to find the person or persons who leaked John Kerry's alleged acceptance speech at the nominating convention later this month.
Read full storyBob the Builder to deliver Iraq report soon
The official inquiry into the intelligence used to send British Troops to a second war in the gulf is due at some point in the near future.
Read full storyExclusive: Saddam Pleads Guilty, Names Accomplices
The former Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein has claimed that in an affidavit presented to an Iraqi judge, he had pleaded guilty and also named a few accomplices. Mr. Hussein made this claim in an exclusive interview to this reporter. This interview was...
Read full storyChild Punishment: Amendment to the Children's Bill.
An amendment to the child punishment law has been voted in at the House of Lords. Parents are no longer allowed to touch their children in any way at all.
Read full storyKerry Runs Into Problems in the Latino Community
Senator John Kerry toured Latino nightspots in LA after his recent Hollywood fund raiser seeking to impress club patrons that he is a regular guy they could count on to understand their problems. Unfortunately as he attempted to lip sync Herb Alper...
Read full storyBill Clinton's Sax
Former President Bill Clinton has donated his favorite saxophone to the Pumpsie & Velveeta Frickenmeister Heartland Presidential Museum located in Waterloo, Iowa. The prized saxophone which he reportedly bought at a pawn shop in downtown Sausalito, California for $17 will be housed along with other presidential items and memorabilia such as: 1. The boyhood bathtub that once belonged to J...
Read full storyCIA yardsale, auction to help deficit
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Now that the CIA has admitted it never really did its job, the agency will be selling to the public all of its properties in a giant yardsale on the White House lawn soon.
Read full story