A spokesman for the pro human pressure group "Kill All the Bastard Hamsters Brigade" (KABHB) has claimed that much like its brother rodent, the Chinese rat, the common hamster is responsible for the spread of a deadly epidemic that looks set to be...
Outraged medics have slammed Government claims to be screening new arrivals to the United Kingdom for Ebola Virus with seemingly pointless questionnaires about their grooming habits. The controversial form is being issued by Customs and Excise staff...
Stunned PM David Cameron has denied prior knowledge that side kick George Osborne is a long term victim of Night of the Living Dead Syndrome In an emotional press conference held this afternoon, the PM rushed to calm fears that the zombie Chancellor...
The world wide internet phenomena dubbed "The Ice Bucket Challenge" seems set to be replaced by a new infusion of collective dares, this time involving intentionally unsuccessful suicide attempts. Celebrities have led the way, using a variety of meth...
Queen Lizard II found herself at the centre of a media storm last night after it was revealed that she did not know how to spell the name of the once popular Lancashire seaside town, Morecambe. Palace sources admitted the monarch's blunder but played...
Scientists at UCLA claim to have solved the age old riddle of what became of our predecessors, the dinosaurs. In a ten year, $795 billion study, biologists, archaeologists and zoologists believe they have discovered the fate of the former lords of th...
Beleaguered supermarket chain, Tesdabury's found itself embroiled in yet more controversy last night after it emerged that the under-fire company has been systematically spying on its customers and then misusing the information it has acquired in doi...
THE KING IS DEAD BUT LONG LIVED THE KING Thirteenth century monarch Richard the Turd has been found dead in a car park in Leicestershire. That was the shock revelation handed to a stunned nation by a group of archaeologists yesterday after they ha...
CONSUMER NEWS - POTS AND KETTLES ACCUSE EACH OTHER OF COVERT BLACKNESS The incidence of name calling between kitchen implements has reached shocking new heights. That was the claim made by Mrs I. Liesalot of Manchester yesterday. Ms Liesalot, who has handed the manufacturer of her newly purchased pot and kettle with court documents, says she and her family have not slept in weeks. Said Mrs Lie...
Representatives of the Pressure Group "People Against Animals" delivered a petition to Downing Street today demanding government action on animals making pointless, stupid noises. Group spokesman Johnny Parrot-Seed hit out at the animal kingdom aft...
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