From the Portsmouth UK virginity - sorry, vicinity - local man, Martin Shuttlecock was allowed a free rein to please himself what he did, as long suffering wife, Anne, went for a girly night out to a dinner of pig's trotters at a local hotel chain, w...
The Protractor and Angle bar in Oxford has seen many famous luminaries pass through its doors in its thirty-five year history. Early on, it was clear that these luminaries were discussing many a deep and insightful topic over their lunchtime and even...
Neighbours in a quiet Manchester suburb were still buzzing today after a domestic row over an eBay purchase spilled out into the public street causing further disarray when husbands and wives began to choose sides in the matter, causing further comp...
Good old boys Barry Obama and Joe Biden had a good laugh today when they returned to the Michigan Chrysler factory recently shut down over 'Beer Farts" that caused an evacuation due to health concerns. With the the NSNBC cast of Olbermann and Matt...
MILWAUKEE - Wendell Milkwater, executive director of Milwaukee's Beer Suds International Airport reported that he put out an Internet notice to hire three individuals to be trained to work as 'pat down' security agents. He said that he was amazed...
A recent study of ancient civilization has confirmed what fanatic soccer fans in the UK have known all along; BEER is ultimately responsible for creating civilization as we know it today for better or worse, depending on which team you root for!...
As if California Politics wasn't scary enough, now the Politically Active Wicans are targeting a California Brewery's Halloween promotion featuring "Witch's Wit' depicting a witch burning at the stake on the label. The brewery and the distributors...
OSAKA, Japan - The Fuji Fuji Oopsy Beer Company of Osaka has just introduced the new FFO-7000 Easy Opening Beer Can. Japanese research scientists worked for five months perfecting the new beer can which can be opened up to 2.3 seconds quicker than...
Makers of several popular brands of rider mowers are jumping on the band wagon and retrofitting their most popular models with dual beer can holders to accommodate the beverages of the users of their products. The reason for this change in design...
In a contentious block buster deal, the storied Liverpool Premier League Team was finally sold to the sporting group that owns the financially successful Boston Red Sox for a little over $476 million, just enough to bail out the Bank of Scotland who...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a dashingly handsome and outrageously charming 25 year old sex God (ignore that bit - it simply isn't true. He's a right boring old fart really) was today upstaged as he went to buy beer up the local supermarket in orde...
Folks facing financial ruin in Michigan have finally come up with a solution to losing their homes to banks through the foreclosure process. They are taking their unemployment checks and purchasing rifles to fend off anyone looking to evict them from...
There was panic in Detroit today after a 400,000 square foot Chrysler manufacturing plant, and 6 surrounding square blocks were evacuated after what turned out to be a plethora of Beer Farts caused the evacuation and mass hysteria. The noxious fum...
New figures released today reveal that one in three people who drink too much inevitably feel like shit the following morning. And apparently the other two don't fare all that much better. "I like a drink or two," one man said. "But the followi...
O'HARE'S PUB, NEW YORK - Martin Coweson, a mine worker from Fort Frolic, sent shockwaves throughout the archaeology world with his uncovering of the fabled sunken city of Atlantis in the dregs of his 500ml bottle of Budweiser at 2am last Saturday mor...
ATLANTA---The U.S. Patent Office today firmly rejected an application from Hooters of America, Inc., based here, to extend patent protection to its signature orange shorts. "After careful deliberation, we have determined that Hooters of America,...
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock (27) was today recovering quietly at home following yet another harrowing ordeal in London - this time finding himself abducted, within spitting distance of New Scotland Yard and the Palace Of Westminster. At the very...
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