Bloody Awful Airports (BAA) have released plans to fingerprint all travellers through its airports, starting with Heathrow, so that it "can find the bugger that keeps touching our clean windows!" Exclaimed an airport employee, adding "...
New York, New York (IP) - The Department of Homeland Insecurity issued a red alert at New York's largest airport today and issued an order for their highly trained bum squad to round up all of the unusual suspects. Men of Middle Eastern appearan...
A study by the Feudal Aviation Administration (FAA) shows Americans cannot keep themselves from standing as close to luggage carousels as humanly possible despite the obvious dangers and impracticality.
Aviation monopoly Big Airports Authority who own most of the UK's major airports have announced a name change and a new security process. In order to re-classify the company to reflect its core trading activity it will now be called "BASC&qu...
100 mile per hour winds that ripped through the Denver area caused the windshields of 13 jumbo jets to crack while sitting on the runways. The snowstorm and high winds also caused closure of the airport and hundreds of flight cancellations and delay...
Would any terrorist in his right mind fly eight and a half hours to blow up an airport? Would it be worth blowing up 140 of your fellow passengers and a few rednecks on the minimum wage but brandishing a badge in pursuit of glorifying Islam? How vital is Raleigh Durham International airport to world security?...
In a surprise move today Transportation Security Administration spokesperson Amyl Calhoun announced new tougher restrictions for airline travel. The new regulations are being imposed starting tomorrow and are a response to charges that TSA airline s...
SEATAC, Washington - Over the past weekend, officials at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport angered God by removing 14 plastic Christmas trees intended to celebrate the birth of His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. After two day of prayerful reflection...
Authorities say that one of the Backscatter X-Ray machines at Sky Harbor International Airport malfunctioned today sending pictures of a whole database of naked passengers onto the internet.
PHOENIX New X-ray machine to debut at Sky Harbor International Airport this hoiday season. The security screening system takes pictures of passenger's entire bodies. Images are incredibly graphic in detail and can reveal both explosives and ge...
The Spoof can tonight report about cheap no-frills airlines and the kind of shoddy service that punters are having to endure at their hands. An insider at Stanstead, working for Cheesy Air, relates this unbelievable story.
CAMP television presenter Jeremy Spake, who found fleeting fame as the breakout star of BBC1's docu-soap Airport, has angered church groups and Christians worldwide by majestically proclaiming himself as "bigger than God!". He made the...
(PARIS) -- Billed by Guinness as the world's smartest dog, Muffin the poodle successfully took control of a disabled United Airlines 767 and landed it safely at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris. Flight controllers say,...
WASHINGTON, DC-Removing clothing, pat-downs and body cavity searches at airports across the nation will soon become a thing of the past. A new procedure will replace the antiquated airport screening process when recently passed legislation is enacted...
This afternoon airport security screeners at a Florida airport detained two suspicious individuals and confiscated several mango trees that the pair attempted to smuggle through a security checkpoint.
C.I.A. officials were again facing ridicule after they arrested Britney Spears following remarks she allegedly made to security staff at J.F.K. Airport.
Studies released today indicate that heightened international airport security measures may be contributing to an increased number of foot fungus cases, commonly known as athlete's foot.
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