The Spoof can tonight report about cheap no-frills airlines and the kind of shoddy service that punters are having to endure at their hands. An insider at Stanstead, working for Cheesy Air, relates this unbelievable story.
"We were coming back from Malaga and the Captain couldn't be arsed to fill the plane up with fuel because his kiddie was in some play at school, so as he was in such a hurry he took off with only a quarter of a tank.
Somewhere over Spain, in Spain, the juice ran out! He's come on the Tannoy and told all us Stewardesses to smash the windows and to get all the passengers to stick their arms out and flap.
What a palaver! I ask you. Anyway we just made it back without a disaster happening" says busty blond stewardess Jane Wingo.
And The Spoof made up this report from a totally fictitious passenger, Brian Earache (31) from Cumbria.
"Well when the girls told us to flap we couldn't believe it. I know Cheesy Air is a no-frills outfit but I mean to say, having to actually fly the plane yourself is bang out of order" moaned ungrateful Mr Earache.
In a statement the CAA has said:
"Well if you fly with cowboys what do you expect?"