In an early morning press conference today in Rochester, Minnesota, the Mayo Clinic announced the results of its study of LYOF. The study titled: The heartbreak of LYOF (Loving your own farts) and sub-titled: Mankinds infatuation wirh flatulatio...
In an early morning press conference today, a spokesman for Ben & Berry's Ice Cream announced two new flavors of ice cream that will be on store shelves this coming month. The two new flavors are Defecake aka: Shit Pie and Booger Bonanza! B...
A news conference was held this morning at the Mount Rudhmore National Monument in the Black Hills of South Dakota. Accompanied by two hundred paid "volunteers," bussed in from Chicago, a spokesman for Walmart announced that the site had been purch...
President Barack Obama announced this morning that he had nationalized the North Carolina Fart Farms, an alternate energy resource founded this past year by the Reverend T. J. McCorkle. "It is an ill wind that blows no good," stated Rev. McCorkle upo...
In a morning news conference held on the tarmac of the Raleigh/Durham regional airport, a spokesman for the Walmart corporation announced that the corporate giant was suing a little known NC pastor for defamation of character. The news conference...
As the world shuttered at the prospect of World War 3 this morning, word of a private conversation between Russian leader Putin and President Obama was leaked by inside sources at the White House. The source, who requested anonymity, stated: "I sup...
In a joint press conference held by US corporate giant Walmart and Chinese officials in Beijing this morning, the sale of the Great Wall of China was announced. "The Great Wall will be the single largest retail outlet in the history of mankind,"...
It was an angry and red faced Gov. Chris Christie that took the podium at an early morning press conference today. Christie: "First and foremost I DID NOT have sex with that toll booth! These are lies no doubt started by Democrat scumbags or teachers union scumbags, or any other scumbag rumor mongers who are just trying to scuttle my presidential ambitions." Reporter: "But Governor, there wa...
Local media described it as "a press conference like no other in recent history," as the Foot Fetish dating web site was announced this morning in Raleigh, North Carolina. Before the festivities began, the new musical group, Toe Jam, sang their new s...
New pictures published in the Paris newspaprers this morning show a bloodied and bent Francois Hollande crawling out of a window at the Presidential mansion in Paris. He is seen holding a motorcycle helmet over his genitals and and staggering to a wa...
In a dramatic press conference held this morning at the corporate headquarters of Walmart, Inc. in Bentonville, Arkansas, a spokesman for the corporation announced the acquisition of the North Pole and the transfer of all of its operations to Benton...
George Zimmerman was arrested again this week for assault with a deadly weapon and once again vowed his innocence. "All I was doing was standing my ground," stated Zimmerman, "doin nothing except breaking a few tables, practicing my choking and...
Reluctantly, I gave in and we now have a Handicap Parking placard. "Getting old ain't for sissies," as my Mom use to say. With very poor vision and having to creep along on a cane now, I realized it was time for this additional chink in my armor. We went to he grocery store and Wal-Mart this past weekend and used the placard for the first time. We parked almost at the front door of Wall-Mart! "...
Speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner was apprehended this morning after police observed him sniffing bicycle seats at a LGBT rally on the mall in Washington DC. Boehner appeared to be intoxicated when a reporter from the Washingto...
North Carolina fart fams received both ridicule and criticism when first announced by its founder Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, NC. Now, three major airlines have declared the air space around the facility a "no fly zone." Louisburg is in pa...
With great fanfare a new dating service was announced this morning At a press conference in the New Orleans French Quarter. Several hundred cross dressers from around the US gathered to celebrate the occasion. "We are here to dance and sing, froli...
The Republican members of the US House of Representatives and the US Senate hosted a gigantic Titanic party at the Mall and the Capitol Rotunda this morning. Starting at the Mall and the location of the Lincoln Memorial, the statue of Lincoln was rem...
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