Written by b kenneth mcgee

Friday, 21 March 2014

In a morning news conference held on the tarmac of the Raleigh/Durham regional airport, a spokesman for the Walmart corporation announced that the corporate giant was suing a little known NC pastor for defamation of character.

The news conference was closed to the public due to fear of a growing resentment of the corporation by the general public in the area and a possible demonstration by followers of the little known pastor, now a local hero. Ten busloads of paid "volunteers" from New Jersey were on the tarmac to cheer the spokesman as he gave a brief message.

The purpose was to defuse the support of Rev. T. J. McCorkle who has written several scathing articles regarding the purchase of the North Pole and the Great Wall of China by the giant corporation. McCorkle is the pastor of a very small congregation consisting mostly of family, friends and a few ex-convicts who McCorkle had befriended while in prison. His attacks on Walmart have made him a local hero and many days he is greeted as he leaves his small compound on his way to Louisburg by crowds lining the way shouting, "T. J. T.J. How many giants did you slay today!"

The Walmart spokesman took the podium on the tarmac amid cheers from the "volunteers" who chanted: "USA! USA! USA!" The spokesman dressed in a plaid suit (made in China) and sporting a US Flag lapel pin (made in China) shouted back at the crowd, "USA! USA! USA!" He followed with a blistering attack on the Rev. McCorkle and "false profits." He ended by shouting "What's good for Wallmart is good for the world!" The "volunteers" dressed in Walmart vests (made in China) chanted in unison, "What's good for Walmart is good for the world! What's good for Walmart is good for the world!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Walmart

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
74 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more