Sociologists at Loughborough University have tested out the old phrase "Beggars Cannot Be Choosers" to see how much truth it holds. "We had a blank week between identifying the next big thing and solving the riddle of the supermarket checkout queu...
Thieves have broken into a prison in New Zealand and stolen a large Plasma Television. Prison Governor, Howard Lash, spoke of the 'heartless disregard' for the welfare of the prisoners shown by the thieves. 'We shall be having an enquiry into this...
Police are investigating the theft of a scoreboard from the grounds of the Wakefield Trinity Wildcats. Chief Superintendant Crapper, speaking to a host of reporters and film crews, explained that he would leave no stone unturned in the search for...
Hundreds of abused airline travelers questioned Obama's policy of hiring uneducated, and criminally intentioned TSA employees under his recent "2nd Chance to Succeed" policy inspired by NFL Dog Killer and convicted Felon Michael Vick. Vick, who...
In an update, on a previous story, "Holiday season disaster strikes", this reporter has learned that one Robert Johnson reported a bicycle being stolen just 72 hours before its return. The case is, now, before the courts. It would seem that, just...
A quiet retired man, Melvin Wordsmithe, although he advised that he prefers his nickname "Wally" to Melvin, or Mel, awoke to find his tranquil neighborhood awash in plainclothes police after a late night rampage by local yobs the night before. W...
A Gorleston man's life was left in tatters this morning after heartless thieves broke into his garden shed and stole his prized collection of sauce bottles. Kevin Ramsey, 61, of Oak Road struggled to hold back tears as he explained that his entire...
Tayside Police have reported that goods worth thousands of pounds were stolen from a clothing and food store at the weekend. A grim faced police spokesman stated that items to the value of almost £6,000 were taken from the House of Bruar in Bridge...
The plucky grandmother who intervened in an attempted robbery at a Northampton jewellery shop earlier this week, had, in fact, been the seventh member of the gang, but had fallen out with its leader in the days leading up to the raid. Elsie Watkin...
The plucky grandmother who tackled a gang of would-be jewel thieves in Northampton earlier this week was, herself, wanted by police in connection with several international jewellery heists that remain unsolved. Elsie Watkins, 83, of 34 Sunset Gar...
A British pensioner (English for 'welfare recipient') brought a swift end to a daring jewel heist, when she clobbered a gang of six armed men with her handbag during a jewelry heist. The woman, who refers to herself as "SuperGran" declined to be n...
Gregory Hess entered a petrol station bought a cup of coffee in Seattle. After drinking it he went to the counter and politely asked: 'Could you empty the till please' After some delaying tactics, the station owner John Henry (grandson the famous American folklore hero) opened the till and gave Hess $300. 'Thank you. I'm sorry about this but I'll pay you back.' With a friendly smile He...
A have-a-go granny is today recovering after fending off a group of jewellery thieves, armed with only a handbag and weekly Netto shop. The silver sleuth, who does not want to be named, but known locally as GRANBO, after the 80's action hero Rambo...
The story of the old lady that 'clobbered' robbers with her handbag took a strange twist today when WBA champion boxer Amir Khan claimed it was him. Video of the raid on a jeweller's in Northampton shows what appears to be an elderly woman in a red...
A handbag heroine has apparently fought off robbers armed with sledgehammers as they attempted a smash-and-grab raid at a jewellery store in Northampton. An elderly passer by, Mikhail Hussain O'Reilley aged 77, immediately shit himself in excitem...
HOLLYWOOD - Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton pretty much ran neck and neck in the 2010 Celebrity Publicity Race. "I'm Hot" Hilton backed off towards the end when told by her attorney that if she did not start acting like a normal person she was goi...
Arthur Askme, still mayor of Newby village, is up in arms today as the village's snow shovel has disappeared. Village policeman, Constable Copper, held a press conference this morning. The snow shovel has a wide, orange, reinforced plastic blade...
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