Thieves thwarted, in record time

Funny story written by Daniel Wolf

Wednesday, 16 February 2011

In an update, on a previous story, "Holiday season disaster strikes", this reporter has learned that one Robert Johnson reported a bicycle being stolen just 72 hours before its return. The case is, now, before the courts.

It would seem that, just last week, while having trouble with his regular, hardened, lock, Mr. Johnson bought a cheap, temporary, lock, for his bike.

This lock was, quickly, cut, with wire-cutters, and the bicycle was stolen.

Prior to the theft, however, the owner took police advice, and made a photo album, of his bicycle.

It was less than twelve hours after the A.P.B. was put out, on this bicycle, that one LeRoy Jackson was found in possession of the stolen bicycle.

Although Mr. Jackson maintains that he paid $15.00, CASH, for the bicycle, he has declined to say where he "bought" the item.

When informed that the true owner was coming to pick up their property, Mr. Jackson was reported as telling police, "Nobody gets that bike, until I get my $15.00 back."

This, however, should be the last of the man's worries.

A check, with law enforcement, shows that Mr. Jackson has enough previous, prison time, on file that, if convicted of bicycle theft, he will receive life in prison, with no chance of parole.

It is unclear as to when Mr. Johnson will receive his property back. The county prosecutor is required to keep possession, of the property, until after the defendants trial.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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