Heathrow terminal 5 was completely closed today when an entire plane load of passengers were able to correctly collect all of their luggage. A team of 15 baggage handlers were immediately suspended for a severe breach of usual working practices.
The Director of BAA, the British Airports Authority, Mr Peter Flypast, has admitted that his company's ownership of several British airports including Heathrow, Gatwick and Edinburgh was all a big mistake. He said: "My wife, Mrs Flypast and I, wer...
In the face of repeated and widely publicized failures to detect handguns at airports and radioactive materials at ports, our investigation has revealed that the Transportation Security Agency (TSA) has developed a covert plan to avoid future humilia...
The British Aeronautical Ass Osculation CEO Lily Bopeep has declared the opening of a emergency sale of all British airports. Prospective buyers have been submitting their bids along with details of the creative changes they would make. Eccentr...
Circling the Madras airport twice after take-off the Beech Jet400 craft landed much to the releif of the bridesmaids, who only minutes before had sent the brides off to a quiet wedding ceremony to be performed at the Amrithaghateswara Temple near Nagapattinam. The occasion was the sasthiabdapurthy celebrations of Selvi Jayalalitha and her long standing consort, err, consentee live-in partner S...
Perth, Australia (Reuters) - Disgraced chair-sniffing Western Australia Liberal Party leader Troy Bustwell is to replace drug detection dogs at Perth airport.
Finally a solution to stop the "TERRIS" crisis plaguing the United States. According to the guy that lives behind the rubbish bins, out back down the pub, Headsonpikes Inc. is running a contest offering a free trip to an underground, nucle...
In order to make the country safer, U.S. Vice President Dick Chain and a few of his comrades from the orifices of Der Homeland Security are now handing out death sentences for all people at airports wearing hats.
High Priest Caiaphus Smithsonson, Mayor of Sipson, England has decided to sell the village to the neighboring Heathrow Airport to allow for a new giant runway. Mayor C. Smithsonson explained that it was better for one village to give its life for an...
The National High School Cheerleading Championships took place once again at Walt Disney World in sunny Orlando, Florida. Teams from every state in the nation attended the competition to prove that they could jump, yell, flip, and wave their pom pom...
The busiest time for the traveling industry is here. As you know there are lines everywhere. As an airport screener, I want to avoid headaches, so I develop my own list of how to speed your way through the checkpoint.
Socialite Paris Hilton arrived at the Hôtel des Milles Collines late Tuesday night after an 18 hour flight from JFK to Kigali's International Airport.
Prime Monster Gordon Brown has upset airport owners and ground staff by announcing tough new security measures to prevent air-borne terrorism.
Tokyo, Japan - A second Chinese airplane this week that was unable to face the ridicule and shaming by other airplanes from across the world at International Airports for its county's recent scandal for poison dog food, contaminate fish, lead tai...
Manila, Philippines (IP) - Emilia Earhart's plane has finally been located after all of these years. It was parked just off the main runway at Manila International Airport near the nearest ladies' rest room.
It seems the bad weather which dogged the UK in July is continuing as torrential rain hits east London.
New York, New York - According to authorities, a man vacationing in Lima, Peru, was abducted, drugged and taken hostage by a pygmy marmoset monkey just before boarding a plane bound for New York City today. The pygmy marmoset monkey alluded TSA airpo...
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