London - (Cosmic Mess): Helfire Club grandees are quakin' tonight amid news that the 18 December 2007 ingress of Jupiter, the Great Astrological Benefic and Ruler of the Gods, into the cardinal sign of Capricorn is the apocalyptic omen foretellin...
Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): The Queen is said to be inconsolable at reports that a two week story moratorium at The Spoof will see her ignored in the world of satire headlines just when she most needs to keep up a high profile and hog the limelig...
The English Queen has forced English men into a homosexual lifestyle when she created laws favoring women and condemning men. The male hating Queen has betrayed English men since she took power.
Washington, DC (AP) - President George W. Bush of the USA, his popularity flagging, has reached out across the pond seeking someone, anyone, to take some of the heat that has resulted from his foreign policy off of his back. To that end, he has exte...
Buckingham Palace, London - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): After successfully steering the hideous tightrope of today's Westmonster Abbey Thanksgiving Service to mark 60 years of public deception wedding whoppers the Puppet Monarch has summoned her guard...
Normally, on reaching a diamond wedding anniversary, one receives a card of congratulations from HM the Queen. These ornately figured, tastefully drawn cards designed by court calligrapher, Humphrey Smullet, cost around £4:45...
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has been declared 'unclean' and a 'dirty skank' by a magistrate after Prince Charles' diary was discovered.
With only 38 shopping days left until Christmas, Harrod's today decided it was finally time to unveil the new range of commemorative Princess Diana Christmas wrapping papers.
The Queen today announced Gordon Brown's insane programme of measures for the new parliament.
Palace of Westminster - (Sartorial Mess): Cynically dispensing with 1000 years of sartorial tradition the Puppet Monarch chose to wear a hideous off-white crimpelene dress with sleeves made of domestic cats' fur for today's State Opening of t...
Stephen Fry, the 'jolly educated' host of TV panel quiz game QI, has gone missing again, fuelling speculation that, this time, he may be gone for good. Fry first went missing in 1995, when, appearing in the West End play Cell Mates, he 'got nervou...
HRH Queen Elizabeth the second was today arrested on suspicion of commiting an honour killing.
Sir Ian "Beefy" Botham has astonished courtiers by slamming arrangements for his sirring today.
London - (NarcoPress): Buckingham Palace should be barred from hiding drugs in the food and drink of its elderly residents, MPs were told yesterday.
Buckingham Palace - (Armageddin'-On-A-Bit Mess): This year's Harvest Moon looks like the inevitable watershed for the Puppet Monarchy.
Intrepid Portuguese investigators reportedly believe The Queen holds the answer to the mysterious disappearance of British toddler Madeleine McCaan.
In a development so unforeseen that nobody, uh, foresaw it, HM the Queen and HRH Prince Phillip today made their divorce official at the Westminster Register Office. Veteran Royal-watchers, long listed in the Guinness Book as "most useless human...
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