WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice President Joe Biden was surprised when he replied to a knock on his office door this morning and found himself eye to eye with former President George W. Bush. "What the hell do you want?" Biden is reported to have asked. "I came to claim my award," replied Bush. "And what award is that?" queried Biden, folding his arms defiantly. "Don't play dumb with me," stat...
The winner of the Miss USA pageant, is in danger of losing her crown because of her controversial opinion about the Sci-Fi classic film "Alien Versus Predator." In a recent interview, while discussing one of her favorite movies, she answered a que...
Some female somewhere in the vast world, moderately good looking, winner of "I-want-to-become-famous-as-the-best-looking-chick-of-someplace-this-year" contesting in yet another 'I-want-to-become-famous-as-the-best-looking-chick-of-some-bigger-place-t...
A woman activist from the environmental protest group, Plane Stupid, who made an allegation that officers from Strathclyde Police approached her, and offered her payment for information about other protesters, has been called 'plain stupid'. Matil...
Renowned idiot Skoob1999 has finally come clean over an incident which he allegedly provoked in the Olypiastadion, Munich in 1985. "I went in the wrong end," the idiot told us. "When Bayern scored I cheered. I was surrounded by Hamburg fans who st...
Saying he probably inhaled too many paint fumes while finishing his lawnmower in a small building, a Wisconsin man faces an arson charge after telling authorities he wasn't thinking when he decided to use gasoline for cleaning up his apartment, and t...
Consternation today following the total incineration of a house, reportedly occupied by a daft bastard. Smoke and flames engulfed the house at eleven am today and the building suffered total structural failure as fire-fighters arrived at the scene.
A complete prick from the town of Wigan today spat on his shoe, accidentally, in attempt to look 'hard'. The incident occurred at approximately 8.00 pm last night near Rick Astley's chippy. The man, identity unknown, was either intimidated by my g...
A scientist in Berlin today made the shock claim that Americans aren't dumb. 'Let's look at the evidence', Professor Heinrich Buschvoterr said, from his laboratory in the Berlin suburb of Wedding. 'The Moon landings, for instance. Adults around th...
In a move certain to raise eyebrows in the House of Lords, the Government have announced that from Saturday they will start to cull the stupidest 25% of the adult population. "The great unwashed, the workshy and people who are just plain ignorant...
After the news broke about a robery victim stealing the thieves getaway car, one intrepid reporter attempted what the police could not do, and track down the thieves themselves. They were located in a seedy bar in down-town Bellevue, Washington St...
There have been increasing complaints by Londoners and tourists alike about the quality of people being employed as Police constables. Many negative comments have been made about how some of these people graduate from basic training to being in p...
Washington DC: People for Ethical Treatment of Idiots (PETI) staged a protest outside the White House and on Capitol Hill. PETI's membership roles also include morons and fools. A PETI founder, Britney Dumbbunny, said "the organization was formed...
He stopped to take a sip from a beer, a luxury he could afford now that the cameras were all on Obama and not on him. "Now take Herbert Hoover. He was always said to be the worst and he wuz only one term. I got him beat! What about Taft? That guy was so fat they had to make a special bath tub for him! They say I'm maybe the most fit President ever. See, I am number one at something!" "What a...
Another one for the World's Dumbest Criminal files happened late last night at the Kia Manufacturing Plant on Skidmark Drawer Rd., Hoboken, New Jersey. Convicted felon, and current parolee, Iam Reely Adickhead, broke into the ball bearing making p...
Daft bastard Mr Paul Wankbreak of Burnley, Lancs was admitted to hospital again last night following a second failed suicide attempt. 'It seems that Mr Wankbreak had logged onto various internet websites seeking an alternative to hanging himself w...
President-elect Barrack Hussien Steve Obama and vice-president elect, Joe Biden Aka "Joe-The senator" were talking, when Obama said, "I hate all the dumb McCane jokes people tell about him." Wise Old Joe, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said...
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