Trouble flared briefly in Birmingham this lunchtime, as passengers waiting for a train became incensed when it didn't turn up on time, leaving them stranded on a platform, and susceptible to all manner of airborne respiratory viruses. The incident...
On tonight's television on BBC4, viewers can see again the award-winning 'Great Train Journeys of the World: King's Cross to Luton'. Presenter Martin Chuzzletwit takes the epic journey, and drama begins before the train even leaves London. 'I was just opening my Thermos flask of cold tea', he said, 'when the ticket collector came round before we had even got going. 'Tickets please', he said, in...
Dastardly Dick Bowker head Vulture at NExpress central announced more bleak news "Despite my efforts to maintain profitability it looks like we are slipping off the rails" Dick axed the on board catering for the East Coast main line recently in an ef...
The debate into banning train nerds from stations in order to peruse their hobbies is hotting up. Supreme train geek Pete Waterman responsible for a string a shite pop songs in the eighties said "This is diabolical, National Express are putting an en...
Train spotters are to be banned from all major stations along the East Coast route as the result of a clampdown from National Express. A spokeswoman for the Transport Salaried Staff Association said "We know NX are planning this move. The informatio...
It has recently been discovered in the city of Alice Springs, a railway station is in the area. But it looks nothing like a station. It is named "The world's worst railway station in history". Inspectors who inspected the place very thorougly...
The government has announced that rail fares are set to come down for the first time in living memory. Lord Adonis (no, that really is his name) has told rail firms to lower their regulated fares. "We need to get people on to trains. At the momen...
Employees on the West Line between London and Edinburgh have complained to their union over the new uniforms they have been provided since GNER lost the West Line contract to Playboy. The new uniforms are in keeping with the traditional Playboy im...
Warrington train station in Warrington has got so tired of trains being delayed by amorous lovers that they have introduced a "No Kissing" zone on all their platforms. This is not the first such restriction placed on passengers at this old Victori...
A fleet of new 'mega-trains' is set to hit Britain's ageing rail tracks sometime in 2013. The hope is for the trains to drag the National Rail Network's services towards the 21st century, following years of public criticism over the sub-standard ser...
All 25 UK Rail Franchises today jacked it in, after an unprecedented all-night meeting held in their headquarters, in an solid gold railwaycarriage in a siding just outside London's Kings Cross station. The following statement was nailed to the do...
George W. Bush, the forty-third president of the United States, has been asked what he plans to do with his retirement. Other former presidents have gone on to manage huge multinationals, become public speakers, or fade into obscurity. Junior has...
The British rail system was today in turmoil after being caught out by the wrong type of ice. Stations had to be closed and trains stopped en route stranding commuters as plunging temperatures gripped the nation. Head of Rail infrastructure Sir H...
An Al Qaeda Terrorist plot has been foiled by the humble British Rail Transport platform attendant, claimed the British Rail Transport Authority (RTA). Earlier this year it was made illegal to stand on a platform and look shifty, which the RTA cla...
Arriba South East inter-city trains have flown in the face of rail privatisation problems to record a year of unbelievable time-keeping set to land them in the Guinness Book of Train Records. Their trains between London and Portsmouth, stopping at...
Thousands of people took the streets in Argentina yesterday, and a state of war was announced by commuters who attacked and killed a train in Merlo station, in the west of the capital, Buenos Aires. The attackers, who were annoyed at the lateness...
Manchester United's 26-year-old Serbian centre-half Nemanja Vidic has been talking about his love for the Northern capital and his favourite pastime when he isn't playing football - the ancient English art of Trainspotting. Vidic told Russian jour...
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