The WHO, based in Wapping and Fleet Street in London, today declared that swine 'flu is now a pandemic. It means that at least two news stories that embarrass the Government can be buried every month. WHO chief Dr Gorbals Proper-Gander, speaking f...
Geneva, Switzerland - As World Health Organization officials announce a Swine Flu pandemic, their underlings are mounting a furious call for an influx of cash. Many see it as a good reason to upgrade their offices and facilities. The last world pande...
There is likely to be the declaration of the first pandemic in 40 years expected after an emergency WHO meeting held in Geneva. Following the announcement to the world's media, a moribund Pete Townshend said that he was only sorry that Keith Moon...
A team of British researchers at the Institute Of Hay Fever Studies has announced that a miracle cure for the debilitating condition is imminent, and hope to have their new product on the market in time for next year's hay fever season. Chief Rese...
UK Health Officials warned today that a hay fever pandemic was about to blitz the UK. Symptoms are said to manifest themselves in continuous sneezing, a runny nose, and teary eyes. Opinion is divided as to what causes the mysterious ailment, with...
After months of government scaremongering, and using the outbreak of a distant relation of the common cold to blank out bad news about failing banks and Labour MPs being thieves, it was finally admitted that the pandemic they'd tried to make people g...
Health Secretary Alan Johnson has today confirmed that anti Government feeling throughout the country has officially reached Level 6, or pandemic level. Mr Johnson, dressed in an anti-stab vest and speaking from a sealed outer annexe, told a ho...
Large areas of East London remained cordoned-off today by the army and police. Elsewhere in the country, people from East London are being asked to make their way, silently, to rapidly constructed isolation centres. Medical experts and linguists...
(Anaheim-CA) Disneyland continues having a difficult time living up to its "Happiest Place on Earth" promise. Only two weeks after employees took over the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride, the character of Piglet has officially been banned due to swin...
As the entire world waits in dread anticipation of that first tell-tale sneeze, withering under the threat of a global pandemic which could see off millions, it's comforting to know that governments the world over are pitching in to do their bit to s...
Formerly London, England - The recent death of a London-based Spanish drum-maker from inhalation anthrax places the death toll of the current pandemic at 75 million and one, now surpassing the Black Death of the 1340s. Last week's death of a Scottish...
A British man is in hospital in Edinburgh after contracting a deadly US military virus whilst on holiday in the US earlier this year. The man, from Scotland, is thought to have become infected with the "Triple E" bug when he was bitten by a mosqui...
The first cases of a disease which causes people to turn to stone have been confirmed in Berkshire. Hospital staff have so far refused to comment on how the four victims may have contracted the disease, but it is believed to be caused by a mutated fo...
LANCASTER, LOON VALLEY, ENGLAND-- (ALOPECIA DIGEST: HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW) It was a HAIR-raising experience for a local man attempting to shave the nose-hairs which had over-grown onto his upper lip as he watched in horror, his symbol of adolesce...
A world wide pandemic has erupted, effecting people from children to adults. It has become known as "Amateur Voice Acting". One of the most common sources that have infected thousands, is called the Voice Acting Alliance. Some may call this...
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