A study carried out by statisticians from the Croydon Institute of Statistics has revealed that a shocking 98% of Britons don't have the foggiest idea what they're doing, and the remaining 2% are all barking mad. Strange then that a nation which i...
The trial of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi, scheduled for April 1st, has been suspended indefinitely following the news that the Premier had suffered a nervous breakdown and had been admitted to a secure mental health facility. Berlusco...
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger fears that hard man Alex Song may be out for the rest of the season. Although the Cameroonian's knee injury is almost healed, the Gunners boss has major concerns about the midfielder's state of mind. "Alex has been...
Unnamed sources are reporting that former U.S president George W. Bush has been admitted to a mental health facility in Houston, Texas suffering from "severe emotional distress". 'Dubya', who lost the presidential election to Barack Obama in 2008,...
Recent reports into the effects of using a mobile phone on the brain were welcomed throughout the world community yesterday. Although slow to admit it, most major mobile phone giants have accepted there is a risk of brain dysfunction over middle...
Newby village's newest mayor, Arthur Askme, has announced that the village is planning a Snow Aid fundraiser in order to help all villagers who were traumatized and institutionalized as a result of the whopping 2 cm snowfall this week. Many reside...
The NHS is to extend its use of chemotherapy beyond cancer patients, and to teenagers who listen to unrelentingly poor music and wear excessive amounts of black cosmetics. These so-called "Emos" have been classed as a health and safety risk by the...
Research just published by Foxord University has made the bold claim that there is no link between mental illness and violence. Professor Bertram Doodle-McFuckwit, Dean of the Faculty of Psychiatry, described the ground-breaking results of the st...
Scientists have discovered that men are more likely than women to suffer the symptoms of Mild Cognitive Impairment or MCI, otherwise known as memory loss. Al Symer, the boffin behind the findings said "Our survey found that almost 14% of male part...
A recent study has been carried out on Hemorrhoids. It IS believed, in the medical profession, that Hemorrhoids are indeed becoming Paranoid. The Hemorrhoids vehemently deny this finding and say they are not sore about the results but they feel they just can't sit and take this, sitting down, without a fight. A number of Hemorrhoids are rather upset as they have a feeling that they have b...
AMSTERDAM, HOLLAND - "Birthers" have long contested Hawaii as Obama's place of birth because of "Left-leaning" efforts to hide nearly every document related to his past. The short-form, or "live birth," document repeatedly cited by administration off...
WEST BLOOMFIELD TOWNSHIP, MI - Local insane man Lyle Steavey was elected to the United States Congress today to represent Michigan's 9th Congressional District. Mr. Steavey has been confined to a mental institution since August 2004. With anti-Wa...
ICU psychosis is a form of delirium. The patient may lose track of time and place to the extent that he/she may encounter great difficulty in knowing where he/she is. Other symptoms of ICU psychosis include visual hallucinations, paranoia, and agitation. One reason is that the patient's mind cannot properly function when input-output channels, hearing, seeing, touch etc. are clogged for quite some...
Omaha, Nebraska - A serial do-gooder has been hunting the students and faculty of Creighton University, and for some time been taunting the police, it was admitted today. In a hastily called press conference, Chief Andrew Wiles confirmed what the...
ATLANTA, GA (ABSNN) - The Center for Disease Control announced this morning that a grave new mental health disorder is sweeping through the African American entertainment and sports communities: Fucked Up Black Athletes and Celebrities Affective Dis...
The worlds leading Psychologists today released a report stating that walking may be bad for your mental health. This shocking 600 page document is based on recent interviews given by former Astronaut Edgar Mitchell. Mitchell was part of the 1971 Apo...
Mental health charities have called for a radical shake-up of community support provision, after a report released over the weekend showed that mental health issues in the UK are considerably more widespread than originally believed. The calls com...
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