LAFAYETTE, Louisiana - President Obama was down in the Bayou State helping to crown this years "Miss Crayfish Cutey" of 2011. He told the crowd that had gathered at a Walmart parking lot, estimated to be about 78,000, including 27 ex-change students from Iraq, that other than getting more jobs for the American worker his goal is to capture Colonel Gadhafi and incarcerate him at New York's Sing...
Not since Alexander the Great conquered the Persian Empire, some 300 years before the birth of Jesus, has there been a bigger fight to determine who should control the Middle East. In one corner, wearing Stars and Stipes mufti, the Muslim leader of...
Former Test opener, cricket pundit and professional know-it-all Yorkshireman Geoffrey Boycott has caused further outrage with controversial comments on the sensitive issue of mental health. Only days after offending his audience with mockery of Michael Yardy, the English slow bowler who withdrew from the World Cup with depression, Boycott was on the attack again, an event rarely, if ever, witnes...
TRIPOLI, Libya - The word on the shell-casing strew streets of Tripoli is that Dictator Colonel Moammar "The Towel" Gadhafi is secretly finalizing plans to leave Libya and move out to Hollywood with his wife of 40 years, the attractive and extremely...
Libya - Colonel Gaddafi entered the room with a missile protruding from both sides of his head, poking fun at the U.S.A. In a light moment at today's press conference, he hammed for the reporters. "Sorry, it's not an arrow. Well, excuse ME!"...
Colonel Gaddafi has employed a new strategy never before seen in modern day warfare to help combat the Libyan uprising in Tripoli. On Tuesday, Gaddafi purchased 400,000 captive lions from the African National Zoo and released them all onto the str...
London - A bout of congenital amnesia has been blamed for Camilla Fucker-Proles forgetting she's still the Colonel's lawfully wedded wife. Tedious legal bureacracy has seen her overlook the need to divorce the despotic Libyan husband, currently do...
Reeling from the onslaught of Tomahawk missiles raining from the sky, Libya President Gadhafi called on Allah to invoke the curse of all curses on former friend and fellow Islamist, Barack Obama; the befouling of one's bed by a dyspeptic camel.
With all the problems we have in the U.S. today, it is truly astounding that a simple answer to them exists already and no one has thought of it. Simply make Muammar Gaddhafi the President of the U.S.! The logic of this escapes you? Let me enlighten you- Why Gaddhafi should be made President of the U.S.: There would be less money wasted on campaigning and voting- all the other political...
London - The disgraced former renegade spy has said his 1999 claims were bang on the money as UN forces pounded the Libyan capital this weekend. "I was prescient, ahead of my time," the former intelligence officer told reporters, "where's my godda...
Benghazi-by-the-Kazi - Cold War intelligence files released today describe the Mad Colonel as modelled on a 'screwball' cartoon character from the 1930s. "We've been examining the original G'Daffy Duck profile," an MI6 analyst said today, "profili...
NEW YORK - This week's issue of Time Magazine has been leaked today, listing Col. Gadaffi as Asshole of the Year. The magazine has decided to replace Person of the Year with Asshole for reasons that are very obvious. "We were going to put 'Ame...
The mayhem, chaos and other Libyan unrest all came to a halt last night, with things quickly returning to abnormal in the country. Simon Cowell, complete with unreal-looking teeth and premium-rate telephone numbers, was flown in to Tripoli by Cedr...
President Barack Obama opened up the first federal attack on bullying in schools by convening a press conference and stating unequivocally, "I don't care how many times you see me kissing Michelle's shoes, I do it willingly. It's not because of bull...
Colonel Gaddafi has shocked the world by using funk music to recapture parts of Libya. In an amazing attempt to daze rebels the Colonel has launched an attack of 'FUNK' on weary protestors. In a breaking interview Gaddafi explained his motives...
This afternoon, CBS Executive producer of the hit show "Two and a Half Men" Chuck "Chaim" Lorre stunned broadcast media with the bold announcement that the show will resume filming new episodes next month. After this revelation, CBS attorney and...
London - (Seizures Palace): A gang of partially clad squatters has taken over Saif Al Gaddafi's bijou residence in Hampstead Garden Suburb. The self-styled Topless Tyrants group is occupying Winnington Road's celebrated 'Duntossin' mansion. "To...
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