Buckingham Palace, London - (AssoCIAted Mess & ReUterus): Police officers investigating the abortive attempt of the mass murder of thousands of US-bound airline passengers are believed to have stumbled upon startling new evidence leading directly t...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The epic saga of the Thatcher era homes-for-votes fiasco took a sinister turn today as the latest Euro-Septic Tory glory-boy David Cameron emerged as the number one police suspect in Dame Shirley Porter's disastrous...
10 Downing Street, London - (AssoCIAted Mess): A silky-smooth and highly polished Metropolitan Police counter-intelligence operation is in full swing as UK security/intelligence agencies home in on the latest parvenu that Cherry Bush QC has tried to...
Boston, Massachusetts -- First came the amazing news that the company Space Adventures plans to offer spacewalks to space tourists. Then came even more amazing news. Boston police have just busted a conspiracy of millionaires (calling themselves R...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Tessa Jowl's beleagured dodgy husband David 'Dark Satanic' Mills was sweating plutonium today following the news that Italian police have discovered the body of Opus Dei banker Gianmario Roveraro who disappear...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Police are investigating the sudden and mysterious death of ENRON fiasco investment banker Neil Coulbeck whose body was found in woodland 'by the bushes' shortly after being questioned by the FBI about his eyewitn...
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Prime Monster's Middle East envoy, top fun raiser and official bagman Michael Levy is in a North London slammer today after the Serious and Organised Fraud Squad of the Metropolitan Police busted him in their inve...
London - (Associated Mess): In a robust defence of his inimicable leadership style a frantic Tony Blair lashed out at critics in Parliament today disputing widely accepted DNA police evidence that he is a direct descendant of war criminals hired by...
A west London family are after Armed Police stormed their home following a report there may be some left over free food. The Tiresome family from Kensington had enjoyed a selection of pizzas, burgers and soda drinks with a DVD, when a passing pedestr...
London - (Re-Uterus & Associated Mess): Officers of the Metropolitan Police Fraud Squad have confirmed today that the woman publicly claiming authorship of the Harry Potter children's books is a convicted serial fraudster who has stolen all seve...
London - Last week, Police and Home Office officials bungled the rescue of 66 illegal immigrants from the clutches of one of Britain's seediest employers.
CLIFTON, New Jersey (AP) Clifton Police are investigating a shooting that took place outside a supermarket. "It appears this shooting might be linked to the string of cell phone shootings," said a detective. Since last March, a mysterious gunman has...
London, Saturday 29 April 2006, (Associated Mess): The Metropolitan Police has confirmed today that it is about to take drastic action on the fiasco of missing foreign ex-prisoners on the run who have so far escaped deportation. And top of their...
Following the recent arrest of Bernardo Provenzano, former head of the Mafia, a vacuum was created soon to be filled by retiring Vice President Dick Cheney. Mr. Provenzano eluded the police (real thing, not old singing group) for the last 43 years, w...
Police uniforms in the UK and in Iraq have taken on a new look recently, as British police officers have begun to dress up like bandits while Iraqi security forces are disguising themselves as masked insurgents.
Recent figures from the National Office of Statistics are set to confirm the worst fears of the Home Office and afficionado's of generic 80's cop movies across the UK today: mismatched partnerships are no longer working in Britains police for...
News that many police officers in the UK have to take on secondary jobs has led to further announcements by Tony Blair in Parliament.
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