After returning from his success in the Copa America for Mexico, Man United's Chicharito decided to headbutt United's superstar, Wayne Rooney, during pre-season training in America and was duly concussed, because Rooney just happens to be a hardnut!...
A slightly distorted and rather "Looney" Rooney fan actually had the balls to turn up at Liverpool's training ground wearing a Man Utd shirt and guess who's name was written on his back? Rooney! The Man Utd fan had just spent 6 weeks locked up in...
Wayne Rooney has promised to take Chicharito 'under his wing' and teach him all he needs to know both on and off the field. Rooney is planning to teach Chicharito how to speak 'Scouse' as well as some really neat 'pick up lines' for when they are...
Prince Harry's latest girlfriend, Florence Brudenell-Bruce is related to every other person in England. Except James Hewitt. Research undertaken by Eric Nonce, a genealogist from Dorking, shows that she is descended from The Pikey-Scrotes, an a...
In a shock development Wayne Rooney, England & Man Utd star has E Mailed Sir Alex Ferguson and Capello that he is retiring from soccer? He has hung up his boots and the only thing that he wants to become is a pop-singer. After his recent hair...
Sadly thousands of Man. U. fans are fed up with the behaviour of some of their Prima Donnas and held a jersey and scarf burning ceremony last night outside the club grounds. Many were already wearing their newly purchased Man. City Jerseys and...
Wayne Rooney has entered the hair transfer market after his implants failed to sprout. The Manchester United footballer has made an audacious bid to buy Andy Murray's hair. Murray had originally offered his hair on a 3 month roll over loan de...
Britain's leading energy suppliers have warned consumers to expect steep price increases from August this year, possibly by as much as 19% The energy providers have attributed the rises to Wayne Rooney's hair transplant, a situation being further exa...
So, Ryan Giggs is a 'cheating dog'. Down boy! It is now reported that he had an affair with his wife's sister. How low can he stoop? Doing the dirty on his very own doorstep. Christmases and other family gatherings will NEVER be the same now th...
Manchester United and England slaphead Wayne Rooney has sustained a freak injury. The footballer will be out of action for several weeks after being rejected by his hair transplant. Rooney is reported to have spent several thousand pounds at a H...
Wayne Rooney has confirmed that he is recovering from having had a brain transplant. The Man Utd and England striker announced through his agent that he had had a 3 day operation in an exclusive Harley Street clinic after being given an ultimatum...
Wayne Rooney has had a Brazillian - on his bonce! The follicley challenged England and Manchester United star has given up the Battle of the Barnet. Visits to London clinics to have his Loaf of Bread implanted with Orangutang's hair have led t...
England manager Fabio Capello has ordered his players to let Switzerland "have some" in the Euro 2012 qualifier. Switzerland is famous for having spawned Sepp Blatter and for making cheese with holes in it. Capello is tipping in form striker Da...
Manchester United and England footballer, Wayne Rooney, was said to be "critical" today by close associates, following what is thought to have been a botched Harley Street hair transplant. Rooney, who emerged from the Harley Street premises yester...
The High Priestess of Voodoo has claimed a victory with her predictions for the Champions League Final. Her original prediction was based on a ritual she carried out with chicken bones and vegetables and Pearl Barley. She stirred the pot of chi...
The High Priestess of the Manchester Branch of The Voodoo Church has said that Manchester United are going to win their championship match tonight. She knows this because she had a premonition whilst carrying out a secret voodoo ritual last week.
The mind games have started! Barcelona's Lionel Messi has claimed in a Spanish newspaper that Wayne Rooney has "messed his pants" ahead of the Champion's League final showdown. England's Number one (no pun intended) has hit back on Twitter:...
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