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Funny satire stories about Alcohol

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Funny story: Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool, the ageless seaside town, has erected customs booths on all the roads into the town. "There are three major routes into the town," said Blackpool Community Chairperson, Tony Blackburn. "At each of these points, we are putting booths to...

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Funny story: I'm sick of being a dirty little secret, says kebab

I'm sick of being a dirty little secret, says kebab

Donor kebab has said it is tired of being a late-night booty call and wants men to admit to their relationship when sober and not only after consuming twenty-five Jaeger-bombs and enough ketamine to knock out a small bear. The statement came after...

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Funny story: TV Sports Announcer Al Michaels Says The DUI Meter Was Broken

TV Sports Announcer Al Michaels Says The DUI Meter Was Broken

SANTA MONICA - One of the most popular television sports announcers in the entire country Al Michaels was recently arrested for having a blood alcohol level over the .08 percent legal limit. Michaels allegedly told the investigating Santa Monica p...

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Funny story: Cheap alcohol bin helps poorer drinkers

Cheap alcohol bin helps poorer drinkers

Plans to collect cheap beers, wines and spirits in a big bin were welcomed by poorer drinkers worried about Government proposals to increase minimum prices on units of alcohol. The big brewers and wine merchants have been wondering what to do with...

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Funny story: Doctors seek huge rise in ice in drinks

Doctors seek huge rise in ice in drinks

Leading British medical bodies, concerned about high levels of alcohol-related health problems, are calling for more ice to be used in drinks. An increase of 50 per cent more ice in an average glass of beverage bought in pubs and bars would reduc...

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Funny story: Randy Travis Caught With Counterfeit Snuff

Randy Travis Caught With Counterfeit Snuff

TARBORO, North Carolina - Well the former good old boy Randy Travis is in trouble with the authorities once again. It appears that the 53-year-old country music crooner has become the older male version of Lindsay "LiLo" Lohan. Travis has alrea...

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Funny story: The Egg Laying Hens Were Traumatized As Hell

The Egg Laying Hens Were Traumatized As Hell

POCAHONTAS, Arkansas - A recent 4.7 earthquake that hit Arkansas caused some damage to three trailer parks in the Greater Pocahontas area. Long time resident Buford "Bubba" Razzfinker, 83, said that at first he thought that the earthquake was just...

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Funny story: Why are there more female doctors than male?

Why are there more female doctors than male?

Recent polls show that females now outnumber males 65:35 in the Medical profession. The general consensus has been that as the education system has become more modular, GCSEs and A levels have been better tailored for females to succeed by doing away with the last minute cramming and pressure of all or nothing exams that boys tend to favour. They score better grades than their male counterparts...

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Funny story: The Top 10 Most Unpopular Drinks of 2012

The Top 10 Most Unpopular Drinks of 2012

Adult Beverage Magazine has just released their list of The Top 10 Most Unpopular Drinks of 2012. Magazine Editor Ballantine Brouhahaburger, 88, pointed out that this year a total of 917,361 people responded to The Adult Beverage Magazine Rate The Drinks Survey. People from every state in the union participated in the survey. The Rate The Drinks Survey committee executive senior director Gen...

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Funny story: Mickey Finn suspected in House of Commons bar room brawl

Mickey Finn suspected in House of Commons bar room brawl

London - Was a dodgy illicit cocktail responsible for the drunken fracas in the House of Commons' Strangers Bar last night? Falkirk MP Eric Joyce was arrested following the ugly spat that saw him headbutt and punch a number of honorable fellow mem...

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Funny story: My Top 10 Reasons for Drinking Too Much

My Top 10 Reasons for Drinking Too Much

10. According to my horoscope, that's what I was supposed to do. 9. My dad drank too much. 8. My girlfriend drinks too much. 7. Being sober around drunk people sucks. 6. Dry heaves are almost as good as crunches - and that's on top of my smoker's cough! 5. Artists, musicians and writers always drink too much - that's just the way it is. 4. I'm tired of feeling left out. 3. I'm...

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Funny story: Controversy as sheep help Irish man set 8-hour sobriety record

Controversy as sheep help Irish man set 8-hour sobriety record

Controversy abounds across the water after it was alleged an County Donegal man abused his affinity with 744 New Zealand sheep in a bid to set a new 8-hour sobriety world record for an Irishman. Ivan Scott from Kilmacrennan, beat the world record...

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Funny story: Britons Cut Daily Alcohol Consumption after Parliament Study

Britons Cut Daily Alcohol Consumption after Parliament Study

Following a strong recommendation by the Science and Technology Committee of Parliament, British residents have taken their government's health recommendations to heart, cutting daily drinking activities by more than 50% "We felt an obligation to...

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Funny story: Mental powers decline after 45

Mental powers decline after 45

Alcohol researchers have finally discovered that heavy drinking affects the brain. After 44 unsuccessful results, researchers at Carlsburg University recently came up with a winning study. They got 10,000 'initially reluctant' volunteers to consum...

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Funny story: UK men hate their beer-bellies but just love their beer!

UK men hate their beer-bellies but just love their beer!

A survey has been conducted in the UK asking males what they dislike and like the most about themselves. It seems that the thing they hate most is their beer-bellies and the thing they love most is guzzling huge amounts of beer! Many UK men would...

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Funny story: The Beginner's Guide Part 6: Ten Things To Know About Drinking

The Beginner's Guide Part 6: Ten Things To Know About Drinking

Welcome one and welcome all, to the Beginner's Guide Part 6, everything you need to know about drinking. Close the saloon doors behind you, pull up a bar stool and tip the barman a few coins, and we'll share a wee dram of your favourite poison whilst discussing the intricacies of the nations favourite pastime. From the very dawn of time, man has sought to forget the foibles of the day, to er...

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Funny story: Study shows the things that people are thankful for is markedly different across gender lines

Study shows the things that people are thankful for is markedly different across gender lines

HARFOLD, Vt.--In a study released today by Harfold State College, researchers found that the things for which college students are thankful this holiday season depend greatly on gender. Of all women interviewed, 72.3% are thankful for their famil...

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