Her Majesty the Queen has apparently issued just one order to her grandson about his forthcoming wedding: don't clash with Pompey! Buckingham Palaces sources say Her Majesty is sick and tired of missing Pompey matches due to Royal engagements.
London - (RIP Mess): Will the Queen spearhead the nation's mood by joining the Grateful - er...Glorious! - Dead in a Remembrance Sunday shocker? Plans for a poignant Saturday night televised farewell were scrapped earlier this year. Thousands o...
London - (Dead-as-a-Dodo Mess): The Daily Torygraph is preparing readers for the Queen's imminent death by putting a big black border around its online edition pages. "We've seen the portents in The Spoof website," royal humbug editor Percy Snodgr...
London - (Book of the Dead Chapter 9/11): An image of Egyptian funerary deity Ammit the Devourer has appeared clawing at the Queen's bedroom window. Frantic Ladies of the Bedchamber said today the part lion/hippo/crocodile entity looked as if it...
Diplomatic tension between Britain and France has increased after it was revealed that Nicolas Sarcozy, the President of France has declined Queen Elizabeth's friend request on Facebook. Elizabeth the Second, or Lizzy2 as she is known on Facebook...
Amidst reports that the Queen is using Facebook, Satirical Writer Queen Mudder recently revealed she's been using it for seven years. Top writer Mudder was annoyed that the news was only just coming out, revealing "That bloody hypocrite's lying. I...
The Queen of England will be using Facebook, as of Monday. The Queen will start a marathon 24 hour Facebook fest accepting requests from the general public. Her first moves? Continuously poking David Cameron until he gives her a new corgi. The Que...
Cyberspace - (The Final Affroniere): Struggling hasbeen and octogenarian self-publicist to the Illuminati Elizabeth Vagina has cracked. The lure of social nitworking site Faecesbook has finally grasped her in its clutches - for a reported $5 milli...
Her Royal Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II may have used a public service train to get to Portsmouth this weekend to see her little metal lover Lord Ark Royal of The Solent; but she was in for a shock when returning after a royal faux pas by one of the ro...
Fears that the strike at the BBC over Pensions might spread throughout the Corporation and continue into 2011 have led the Queen to intervene. 'My Christmas message is in danger' she said 'the people are used to hearing me on Christmas Day and bei...
It was almost more than the great royal heart could stand - not only was she bidding farewell to her navy's flagship, but she had to miss her other great love. HM the Queen visited HMS Ark Royal at Portsmouth yesterday to say "goodbye" to the grea...
London - (Honi Sott Qui Mal Y Penis)): The Gutter Principal King of Arms is gobsmacked: not since the Pope last demanded elevation to the Gutter's highest echelons has the diplomatic situation been so hideous. But HM is adamant that the bestowing...
London - (Rioters): "Fat chance, mate," is how the Beeb's NUJ father-of-chapel summed up the odds this afternoon. The 48 hour walk out will see a widespread Guy Fawkes weekend news blackout. Hacks are hacked off about austerity measures messin...
London - (Gunpowder Plot): Friday's annual Palace Bonfire Night bash has been cancelled amid fears the Queen may auto-immolate this weekend. A routine medical scan found one of the missing Yemeni photocopiers buried up Her Majesty's arse, its inkj...
Windsor - (Money Laundering News): She was found foaming at the mouth this morning as news of the bounced check shocked the nation. Three days of palatial hospitality for notorious Qatari 'Fake Shaikh' and his Halloweenish consort Shaikha Mozzad...
Windsor - (Order of the Gutter): Six months ago he spoofed Fergie into demanding a half a million quid bung for an intro to her feckless ex-husband Prince Andrew. Last night the notorious 'fake shaikh' was at it again, this time impersonating Qata...
Following the royals decision to freeze their pay for a year, the Queen has taken the unusual step of ordering her brood to get on their bikes to put bread on t'table. HRH has even taken a temporary position herself with the help of Max Clifford,...
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