London - A £30bn smash and grab raid on UK coffers to aid and abet EU nutz raise a European army lies shattered today. Thinly veiled 'transaction taxes' on the City of London had been targetted in a series of poorly camouflaged plans about bailing...
MOSCOW - Vladimir Putin was just chosen as the winner of the second Confucian Peace Prize by an obscure cultural organization, the China International Peace Research Centre, from a field of nominees that including Bill Gates, Angela Merkel, Kofi Anna...
Beijing - The universally despised Chinese military dictatorship has awarded the Global Piss Process' ultimate gong to Russian Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin. The pint-sized evolution throwback beat off fellow nominees Bill Gates, Angela M...
London - The iconic hospitality review site has incurred the wrath of a Central London restaurant by posting the criminal record details of its management. Staff at La Femme Qui A Faim ('The Hungry Trollop') in Belgravia's Toad In The Hole Street...
Kampala - NATO always had suspected, of course, that Joseph Kony, leader of Uganda's mass-murdering Lord's Resistance Army guerillas, was the inspiration behind the naming of Vladimir Putin's female black Labrador Retriever Koni. The mutt was wide...
Bloodyvostock - Does Russian wannabe president Vladimir Putin's plastic surgeon really hate him enough to stitch him up like former French art dealer's wife Jocelyne Wildenstein? The Kremlin rumor mill today said 'maybe' as hideous pix of a surgic...
Moscow - A notorious UFO rat run inside Earth's Van Allen Beltway is the top culprit behind the disappearance of Russian Starfleet's flagship cargo carrier. This morning the entire International Space Station supply program hangs in ruins as monit...
Health and Safety Officials have issued a $5,000 reward for who ever put out a bagged body ignoring recycling efforts imposed by the local Peckham council. "Not only did who ever did it ignore the pick-up day, which is every 3rd Thursday in the m...
London - He's taking no chances after Saturday's Epsom Salts - er...Derby! - fiasco that saw talking whorse Carlton House strip punch-drunk Brits of £25million in failed bets. This coming weekend silly self-publicist/mug punter Prince William aims...
Russian strongman Vladimir Putin, out of the limelight, but not out of power for the past three years as Prime Minister, is said to be ready to retake the mantle of Presidential power in the upcoming election against protege Dmitry Medvedev! Puti...
Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and President Dmitry Medvedev have fallen out over plans to build a chain of cheap Libyan Spars in major cities in the country. Medvedev, who many Western commentators regard as Putin's "man", is furious that...
Although last week's big solar flare knocked out some communications and caused other smaller problems, it was only when the Siberian Train System was restored and made it's way into the farthest reaches of Siberia did the worst damage come to light.
Moscow - (Pie-in-the-Sky): The craft was first seen in Russian airspace at the April 2010 downing of a Tupolev Tu-154 that claimed the lives of the Polish president and his entourage. Last week's reports of its Moscow fly-past were hurriedly withd...
Turginovo, Russia - (Festive Ass Mess): Flanked at a traditional Russian Orthodox midnight mass in Turginovo by the usual entourage of wholesome-looking, corpulent ex-shot put champion babushkas Vladimir Putin looked humble and Pius (sic) XII. Spo...
Former(?) Russian leader Vladimir Putin was quoted as saying that there was no way an actor like Robert Pattinson could be related to Vlad the Impaler. "That pansy Pattinson would crap his pants if he ever came around old Vlad with all those peopl...
English fans eat your heart out. A slice of justice today as the Russian Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin, was served a slice of revenge as he left Moscow to Zurich to celebrate the country's victory. The irony? He had to fly Easyjet. Due t...
London - (Balls-up Mess): Bollox PR of three shameless self-publicists is what did it. A cyber postmortem says today the footie world just can't get it up for the Tosspot Trio. Wannabe legends Cameron, Beckham and Wee Willy Windsor barely rais...
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