MARINA DEL REY - The Kremlin has reported that Russian President Vladimir Putin and his wife Lyudmila are headed for the Land of Divorceovich after being married for 30 years. Reports are sketchy as President Putin is not one to kiss and tell or m...
Bloodyvostock - "Think the Incredible Hulk in Alina Kabaeva's body," is how one Kremlin insider put it this morning, "a male rhythmic gymnast so supple and contortable it's a wonder all that spangly lycra never bursts during, er, workouts." The an...
North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un, was in a state of shock as his prepared nuclear missile launching rather backfired. The missile launch was a propaganda show hoping to scare the pants off South Korea, the US, the rest of "normal humanity" and to sho...
BILLINGSGATE POST - Russian President Vladimir Putin, the diminutive leader of the Soviet Empire, declared today that the meteor that burnt out over Siberia last week was the home of his ancient ancestors, the Lilliputins. With scientists gather...
Grisha Manpursenikov has named Outer Space as the plaintiff in a lawsuit he has filed for damages he suffered in the recent meteor impact over Chelyabinsk, Siberia. Fragments of the meteor shattered his new 60 inch LCD television while he watched...
MOSCOW - President Vladimir Putin, realizing he has only but a few days left to 2012, is trying desperately in the year's remaining hours to up his street cred for The Complete and Utter Asshole of the Year Award. In an asshole move reminiscent of...
Details of the first phone convocation between Russian President Vladimir Putin and US President Barack Obama since the recent US election have emerged. The pair spoke about Syria and the opposing view that they hold on what President Assad is do...
MOSCOW (ABSNN) - Vladimir Putin may be getting along in years, but he "is still as studly as ever," he said in an interview with geriatric reporter, Martin Shuttlecock. "He's but a lad, a mere slip of a boy," Shuttlecock wrote. "Vital, I'm vita...
Russian President/champion bear wrestler Vladamir Putin has pledged to spend £450billion on Russia's armed forces. The soldiers don't have enough money to feed themselves, but they'll have a shitload of shiny new tanks! Vlad "The Destroyer" Putin...
London - The octogenarian doyenne of American news broadcasting has been knocked off her high perch in the controversial Bashar Al Assad affair. Twenty-four hours after the scandal went viral a new drama is unfolding in London amid revelations tha...
Norway - The mass killer is patently nuts prosecution sources said today as news of his heinous DNA was made public for the first time. Apparently Anders Brevik has tested positive as Russian thug Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin's spawn, possibly conceiv...
In a surprise choice Chelsea directors have decided to have the present manager of the Russian team KGB as their new Manager. In a statement the directors explained that the discipline at Chelsea needed swift action and with Putin's record of smas...
Victorious Russian President Vladimir Putin has demanded a recount of all votes cast in the country's election after it emerged that only 67% of the fraudulent votes he cast were counted. The president, now into his third term, was alerted to the...
Freshly victorious Russian President Vlad,feels he has the skills to sort out Chelsea's woes. His new regime will make Frank Lampard very happy as he will be Captain, following John Terry's penchant for perving and pultitrudious, he will be sold t...
Famous for setting odds on anything from the number of fights in a hockey game to whether or not Janet Jackson might bear a breast on national television, Las Vegas statisticians and odds makers are refusing to set lines on Justin Bieber, J-Lo and Vl...
Russia has just announced their plans to step foot on the moon before the end of the decade. Vladimir Putin, Russia's Prime Minister said today to parliament and many representative news agencies from other countries, "Russia will be the second count...
Following reports from researchers in Japan about the unique vision characteristics of the Brown Jumping Spider, Vladimir Putin claims to have studied and discovered the distance judging proclivities of the spider some five years earlier, from the in...
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