NEW YORK CITY - American NSA whistleblower and now resident of Russia, Edward Snowden stated to Russia's national news agency, Vodkavich that he is thrilled with having been granted asylum in Russia. He also added that he loves his new job as dire...
MOSCOW - Barack Obama's decision to cancel a planned meeting with Vladimir Putin was met with harsh words from the Russian President. "We are disappointed by the U.S. administration's decision to cancel the visit of President Obama to Moscow plan...
OUTER SPACE - Today Russia announced that they will be traveling to Saturn in a historic expedition to be the first to bring back something from Earth's distant cousin. Unfortunately, their motives are suspect. Russian President Vladimir Putin...
Dear Mr. Putin and everyone involved in The Airport Case. Greetings to you very kindly, and thank you for your time. I am Big Mother, writing to you on behalf of my sons, Big Brothers here and everywhere around the globe. First off, please understand that in America the government never takes any actions that will harm other people, especially its own citizens. And of course it will...
I know this is very hard to believe, and I'm expecting tweets on it as to my credibility, but I will trust in the evidence. I had just departed from Mr. Putin (or Vlad as I got to calling him), and was exiting Club Formulation. By then evening was starting, bar stools jamming somewhat with people sideways and hands raised over the bars for drinks, girls at the poles, you know the scene. Rig...
Special to TPN - ITAR-TASS, the Russian news agency, announced that Edward J. Snowden, the former intelligence contractor on the run from the American authorities, has won the mayoralty race in Dudinka. Dudinka is the administrative center of Taymyrs...
Russia - "Just promise not to count how many teeth," Kremlin aide Dim-Eatery Borsch commented as pics of President Vladimir Putin's dazzling white smile flashed across Russian TV screens, "anything over 40 would be a PR disaster." The latest pres...
LOS ANGELES - One of Lindsay Lohan's fellow rehab clinic patients has just stated that she really fears for the health of the freckle-faced actress. The patient who spoke on grounds of anonymity told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Vodka Vermicelli that Lin...
It is obvious to myself, Pepe Warezabar, your roving reporter for The Guard Dog, that Hillary Clinton is alive to every nuance, every whisper of significance occurring in the known cosmos. So it was not surprising to me when we met for our one year re-union at her husband's favorite night club, The Lewinksy, that she would enquire about my health. The club was very noisy at this point with...
PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korea's Rice Paddy Whack National News Agency has just given the Russian leader Vladimir Putin a message. Kim Jong Un has officially stated that he is willing to send a military cargo plane to pick up the infamous NS...
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Vice-President Biden: Hello Mr. President, are you there? 8:01 a.m. President Obama: Good morning to you Joey. How are things going so far? 8:04 a.m. Vice-President Biden: Pretty good Barry. Say have you heard anymore concerning that New England Patriots Super Bowl Ring that Vladimir Putin reportedly stole? 8:07 a.m. President Obama: Well Joey, kinda, sorta, I gue...
Presidents Obama and Putin have flown to an undisclosed location (rumored to be Club Mephistopheles in Hong Kong) for a secret meeting on the Edward Snowden problem. Carefully located surveillance (audio and optics) within this nightclub, plus co...
A Russian gymnast, in training for the upcoming Olympic Games, went into labour on a trampoline yesterday giving birth to a bouncing baby boy. Unaware that she was pregnant, Elena Kulakov had been carrying on with her demanding training regime in...
HOLLYWOOD - LaLaLand is already jumping on the huge NSA scandal regarding former NSA contractor Edward Snowden alias The Whistleblower. Tittle Tattle Tonight's Pico de Gallo has just learned that noted Italian director Bandini Borrapelli has signe...
FERMANAGH, Ireland - The 39th edition of The G8 Summit Meeting was recently held in the beautiful country of Ireland, the land where Irish Spring Soap was born. According to The Irish Eyes News Agency some of the major topics that were discussed b...
The Prime Minister is still refusing to leave his home in Downing Street to face reporters following the urgent telephone call he made to President Putin last night when demanding that Russia return Mount Snowdon to Britain immediately. The front...
BOSTON - The owner of the New England Patriots Robert Kraft has stated that his trip to Russia was not exactly a pleasant one. The Pats owner told Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette that as he and President Putin were having dinner at Mosc...
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