Let's face it guys, we all get nervous before a date with a beautiful young lady. And if it is one that you suspect and hope that you are going to get lucky on, then it's only natural that some performance anxiety will creep in. There are several ways to combat this but one of the commonest is to have a little "me time" prior to your date. This not only relaxes you but will hopefully make you a li...
Voyeurism is the pastime of spying on someone who is unaware of his or her presence. were the victim aware, he or she (usually, she) wouldn't be lolling around naked in the first place, especially in the presence, seen or unseen, of anyone else (unless she is also an exhibitionist). If the voyeur is hard up enough to ogle someone in secret and there is no one available to ogle, he will usually...
CHICAGO, IL - Christie Hefner, Hugh's daughter and president and CEO now that her father, the magazine's founder and publisher emeritus, is encumbered by his having to wear Depends diapers for adults to avoid embarrassing accidents, announced during...
WASHINGTON, DC - It would seem that Chap is in the national doghouse once more as President Barack Obama announced to the White House press corps that he's grounded the "if I had a son" once more for participating in a public masturbating contest...
Wisconsin man Elliot Holmes experienced his own personal Super Bowl blackout during Sunday's big game and is wondering "what the hell happened?" after waking up in a pool of vomit and urine, his trousers down to his ankles and his dog whimpering in a...
A room which has become known to his friends as The Wanking Palace, has been designated 'Out of Bounds' by the parents of Clark Dylson, a juvenile in one of the South African capitals, Cape Town. Dylson, an habitual masturbator, regularly retires...
What's this mutual masturbation craze about? I believe I've mentioned here, once or twice, that I am attempting to get laid. Hour after hour I troll all of the sexual dating sites to check out women's profiles. I peruse their Sexual, Kinky, and Fetish Scales, and match them with mine, just to see if I measure up. I find that I lack one important arousal quotient that would make me more attr...
FALON NV (ABSNN) - "The teacher said I had to masturbate to pass his class," said WNC sophomore, Imanice Gurl, a 19-year-old who lives with her mother. "Momma says it's wrong to play with myself. I really don't know how. I guess I learn, though,...
Lancashire, U.K. - In a story that can only be seen in light of that old adage, reversed, 'What comes a round, goes around,' a German expatriate living as a civil servant in Britain, Helmut Heins, has claimed to have fathered over 10,000 children thr...
In a stunning volte face regarding stories containing smutty innuendo and double entendres, top satirical website thespoof.com today ran a story about Britain's Biggest Wanker breaking his wrist in an unfortunate onanistic accident, as he was lobbing...
The Queen, anachronistic monarch of the United Kingdom, has had her historical crown taken away from her by the Forfeiture Commitee. This little known and un-elected room-full of toffs - who the other day stripped poor old Fred Goodwin of his knig...
Neil Downs, from the McLaren pit crew was rushed to Sao Paulo hospital this weekend ahead of the next Grand Prix in Brazil following an horrific accident in the McLaren pit area. "Neil was using the pneumatic tire remover," said Pit boss, Tyrone M...
Recently there has been a lot of controversy relating to the modern world's effects on the developing brain. However, one area in particular has been overlooked, until now. Professor Susan Fallowfield notes "My previous work has shown that the poo...
In an unprecedented move to insure that all potential life is protected, legislation has been introduced in twenty-six states to make male masturbation a crime. In a press conference this morning a spokesman declared, "All life is sacred and all...
The AOL/ HuffPoo hookup is beginning to look more and more like a wet dream than an ideal love story with a happy ending between two enhanced profiles who meet on the internet and then wind up screwing each other to death when they find out the tru...
Police from the London Met shut down The Spoof! and declared it a crime scene or to be a more exact the scene of a crime in progress. The police received the following tip off from spoofter Alex99 who wrote an email to them in which he described h...
A South Boston man's right hand had simply had it with trying to choke a chicken that, not only had not neck, but lacked a head worth squeezing. "I can't believe it!" Exclaimed a shocked Jerry Little from South Boston. "This was my best friend! As a matter of fact, he was my only friend!" "How could leave me this way? I mean all the good times we had together. I feel so empty now".
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!
We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.
