This morning's announcement from the Vatican that 85 year old Pope Benedict XV1 is to stand down as leader of the Catholic church due to advancing years seems almost certain to mean the choice of a much younger replacement. Pope Benedict XV1's dec...
Number Ten and the Palace are said to be 'stunned' by the news that the wrong New Years Honours list has been published. According to the Palace, there was a minor lapse in security on Boxing day, when Philip and Camilla got a bit drunk and 'hacke...
London - Government ministers are drawing lots for the dubious pleasure of standing near Tony Blair at the Remembrance commemoration in Whitehall this Sunday. Last year M'Noble Lord drew the short straw that saw nostrils pucker at the sickening, '...
In a shock Holyrood announcement from the normally ignored Scottish Parliament, the marriage of Alexander Salmond (bachelor of the parish of fat, small fuckwits) and Tony Blair (spinster of the parish of unholy arseholes) has been announced. With...
Brussels - Police have drafted in face recognition experts after an oil executive resembling Tony Blair was gunned down outside an Italian restaurant in Belgium. ExxonMobil executive Nicholas Mockford and his wife had just finished dinner when hit...
The world learned today that Archbishop Desmond Tutu has called for George W. Bush and Tony Blair to appear in the dock at the ICC (International Criminal Court). Earlier this year the Kuala Lumpur War Crimes Tribunal in Malaysia found Bush and C...
London - Tiny alien UFOs disguised as flies, mosquitos and species butterflies such as the Common [Fire 'n'] Brimstone were the top suspects behind the PM's fears. Newly declassified UFO files released today describe how the Blairs fought a conce...
Tony Blair, the erstwhile choreographer and television presenter, could be set for a dramatic comeback after he left our screens some years ago. Away from mainstream publicity, Mr. Blair has been touring the Middle East promoting his successful o...
London - The Grand Master of empathy management played a blinder today with a personal take on Rupert Murdoch's custard pie-in-the-BSkyB moment at the House of Commons last year. Speaking in hoarse Don Corleone-esque tones the ex-Prime Monster was...
With Tony Blair taking the stand in the Leveson enquiry on Monday morning, many people are expecting him to be questioned about Rebekah Brooks. Tabloid headline writers are sharpening their pencils in a euphemistic way at the prospect of what he migh...
London - Other amulets and talismans facing impounding are a vile [sick] of holy water personally passed by the Pope at Blair's catlick conversion ceremony. And a lucky locket of Cherie's locks before the Old Queen Mum's funeral sent her completel...
London - The daft old tosspot is the US bank's top gambling tipster advising on a range of international whorseracing punts. This weekend he's being fingered by his rum 'Captain' Morgan bosses for the biggest trading losses in the bank's entire hy...
The French presidential election has ended with the French going slightly left instead of right causing quite an upset amongst its European neighbours. Sarkozy admitted defeat gracefully to his opponent, Hollanda (Who's actually Double Dutch), apo...
London - A Kuwait government official tasered by cops for urinating on Tony Blair's doorstep has been nominated for the UK's top gong. Diplomatic Protection Racket officers blasted Ayedh Al-Rashidi, 40, with a powerful 50,000 volt shock and took h...
London - Documents seen by the usual sources show Little Miss Bigamist's bride price matches the mystery £8 million 'admin fees' charged by Tony Blair's WindBush Ventures Corp. The dosh was demanded by Queen Elizabeth when she found out Kate Middl...
Tony Blair has taken time off from his search for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and solving the problems of Israel to put in a word to help Labour Leader Ed Miliband, who is not so popular as Tony was. In a statement Blair said Miliband was...
London - Angie Hunter, JK Rowling and a host of other tuppenny ha'penny hos all feature prominently in the necrology filming of Tony Blair's greatest hits. Ditto cute pandas, penguins and other endangered species - apart from ultimate rare breed C...
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