No matter how hard she tries, poor Camilla will always be relegated to the Rottweiler category. Witness her appearance with the dried-out old Royal sausage Charles at the Commonwealth Games - trotted out in heavy tights, more like compression stoc...
As Prince Charles and his drop-dead gorgeous wife, Camilla, arrived at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi yesterday, the President of the Games made an embarrassing mistake. Whilst greeting the royal couple, Mr Mahatma Koat shook hands with the old m...
London - (Reuterus): Is a secret High Court super-injunction gagging plans to exhume Princess Diana's grave at Althorp? Frantic legal moves in the last 24 hours have seen the Human Frights Act invoked to protect the Spencer family's privacy. At...
London - (Goodbye England's Woes Mess): The mass ablution of congenital sins will take place in the open air at London's Hype Park this Saturday. Weeks of preparation have seen thousands of gallons of disinfectant dumped into the Memorial Fountain...
London - (Pont d'Alma Tunnel Vision Mess): The tacky RIP tribute to Di-Die and Do-Do is being taken down this week ahead of being returned to Princess Di HQ in Moscow. The Diana and Dodi altar in Harrabs Department Store window is destined for lan...
Wills and Kate together at last! A report says Prince William and Kate Middleton are all set to marry next summer. The lovebirds have been together for nearly 10 years and will soon turn into a pair of geriatric pigeons if they don't do something...
Netherlands - (Haemorrhage News): The bloody diamonds war crimes trial in The Hague has now heard it all. Nelson Mandela's secret, illigitimate daughter told the judge yesterday that Princess Di's tiara was behind the outrage. The Spencer Diad...
Mohamed Al Fayed, the retired ex-owner of Harrods and billionaire entrepreneur, has made startling claims today about the 'deaths' of his son Dodi and Diana, the former Princess of Wales. In a new book launched today, 'Diana and Dodi,the Untold St...
Remarkably, even in the world of satire, there are boundaries that should not be crossed. That was the salutary lesson learned today by long-time spoof-writer, Doris Middlewick, as she was banned from posting any further articles on her favourite spo...
London - (Crude Mess): Globules of the dark slime began appearing this morning as ex-BP CEO Lord Browne prayed fervently beside the Diana shrine. The bastard son of Princess Margaret and Ronald Reagan left the UK supermajor three years ago followi...
A dedicated fan of the British actress/singer and all-round mega-talent Pixie Lott today claimed that if Princess Diana was still around today, then she would without doubt be a massive Pixie Lott fan. Charlene Degbroth 22, from Luton, claimed tha...
London - (Rotters): Mountbatten down the hatchets! Yet another House of Windsor anal fistula is about to burst its putrid pus all over the unsuspecting British public this week. And Wednesday's State Opening of the Can of Worms could be the bi...
London - (Rotters): The 20 kilotonne device was discovered rammed deep inside one of the defunct power station's chimneys with the inscription 'An Abdication Incentive from Princess Diana'. Army bomb disposal experts said today it appeared to be f...
Apoplectic scenes of joy at the NYC Chrysler Building as Conan O'Brien takes over offices vacated by IBW. "Apparently IBW, not paying their bills, skipped town yesterday just before bailiffs moved in", said a Conan O'Brien spokesperson. "It...
At the death of Princess Diana, Musician Elton John rewrote his song "Candle in the Wind" as "Goodbye England's Rose." In response to the opinions of several blowhards recently, the singer has rewritten the song as "Farting Into The Wind." The song...
New Yorkers Agog at Scenes outside the Chrysler Building - passersby got the shock of their lives when it started to rain desks, chairs and PCs onto Lexington Avenue alongside the art-decor Chrysler Building in New York City. In scenes not seen s...
London - (Clunkers): A tip-off has sent police frogmen to the Diana, Princess of Wales Mammorial Fountain and its taxpayer-funded duck house. They are looking for the car which may have been part of Milly Dowler's 2002 abduction. The Red Daewoo...
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