Praia do Tonel, Algarve - (Conspiracy Mess): Religious superstition is in freefall today in Portugual's Algarve as countless nationals blame Third Secret of Fatima pontifical gagging orders for hexing the holiday region with yet more fa...
The Government has advised all UK residents not to travel to Portugal, after three people drowned there.
London - (Worthier-Than-Thou Mess): Headline-grabbing brinksmanship has been irrevocably redefined today after Booker Prize winner Anne Enright claimed she was probably the world's first published author to dislike the parents of Madeleine McCann...
While the world looks on in amazement, Portuguese police officers have made a number of insulting remarks against their British counterparts, alleging that they don't know how to do their job and only investigate what parents Ger...
Royal Asskisser Sir Elton John has won the coveted "Bullshit Bard of Britain" award with his latest effort, "Song for Maddie". The piano solo is dedicated to toddler Maddi...
It was announced by Downing Street at lunchtime today, that Britain is at war with Morocco, and that all diplomatic relations have been broken off.
Up to £80,000 from donations to the Madeleine Fund have been used for newspaper, television and billboard adverts starting today. However, the picture of a bearded twit, one of the UK's 210000 missing people, has been mistakenly used on the poste...
Indiana Frightful - As a scribe of some note with many, many gongs under one's scarab, I was praised for writing kindly about little Madeleine McCann almost immediately after she'd been cruelly abducted.
In an unprecedented move, the Portuguese Policia Judiciara investigating the disappearance of Madeleine McCann held a press conference yesterday, breaking with the standard practice of leaving cryptic clues scrawled in the toilet cubicles of the Tal...
Portimao, Algarve - (Disaster Press): Portuguese press sources have claimed that the sinister self-flagellation sect Opus Dei is being probed about a cover-up of vital clues in the disappearance of Maddie McCann.
Rothley, Leicestershire - (Whatacheek Mess): The parents of Madeleine McCann have lobbied the Queen to make a public TV appeal to find their little daughter after Portuguese police claims that "the McCanns probably did it."...
While Rupert Murdoch's evil Sky Media Empire was putting up its prices and breaching contracts, Virgin's boss, Richard Branson, touched by the plight of Leicestershire couple Kate and Gerry McCann
Rothley, Leicestershire - (Ass Mess): Speculation is rife in the UK that singer Michael Jackson has offered to pay the legal defence costs for the McCanns who may be facing extradition to Portugal 'as early as Monday' according to police sour...
Portugal - (Disaster Mess): The Portimao public prosecutor has told local police to apply for an EU warrant to dig up large swathes of Leicestershire in their hunt for missing four year old Maddie.
Hollywood, California - (Ass mess): Ben Affleck has hit back at critics in the wake of his directional debut film Gone Baby Gone being pulled with the news that he's already working on a follow-up movie 'about the bonkers daughter o...
London - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Gorgon Brown is reported to have given the nod for the National Lottery's Heritage Fund to pay Kate and Gerry McCann's legal fees after various New labour cash-for-honors peers pulled out from extending...
Sydney, Australia - (Ass Mess): Australia's famous Dingo Baby Mother, Lindy Chamberlain, has added her 50c worth to the McCann family controversy as they fight to clear their names in a Portuguese press-fueled furor about the disappearance of the...
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