As Britain resides in the grip of a paralysis due to a foreign invader (the sun) Back and to the Left news decided to get some insight into this deadly heat wave. We spoke to Sun journalist Farr Right to try and gauge the nation's feelings on these,...
Gladys Hornswagger of Morristown, Tennessee blames her ruined date with 'that hot nerd' Griffin Gaskey, on their date at the new Taj Palace Plus Restaurant in nearby Knoxville. The proprietors told the couple that their food was authentic Indian b...
Windsor - "Bloody country's going to the dogs if a bloke can't have his little blue pills," a wrecked isle dysfunction specialist at the Palace said today as searing temperatures continued to cook Prince Philip's giblets. The nonagenarian curmudge...
After better part of 20 months living in semi-darkness with household lights necessary during supposed daylight hours the UK is suddenly basking in what the weather clowns refer to as a 'heatwave'. For the average Pom the term 'heatwave' refers to...
St. Louis (SAPP) - The 2012 Olympics in London will be getting no help from the U.S.A. this year. Drought, heatwave, and burn bans have crippled the effort to send the Olympic Flame through the Midwest this year. But this may soon change. "This to...
London - A hush-hush meeting of UK energy providers has warned that draconian tariff increases in householders' heating bills are being deliberately thwarted by freakish weather conditions. Price increases of up to 19% had been targetted for the a...
London - "Smells like lobster gumbo during advanced putrefaction," worried Royal Parks Agency sources admitted today. By lunchtime hundreds of London sunbathers had been taken in droves to A&E as noxious fumes continued to spew from the tragic...
London - Barking resident Mrs Iris McReedy spoke of her dismay today after a greenhouse gas-fuelled solar arson attack fried the contents of her hanging basket. The octogenarian pensioner said she'd noticed 'a funny pong' "like smouldering compost...
CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas - People in the Lone Star state coastal town of Corpus Christi, known as The Sparkling City By The Bay did not even bother going out To Home Depot or Lowe's and purchasing plywood to board up their windows. Lifelong Corpus Ch...
Tracking temperatures well into the 90's across the United States, with some regions topping 100 degrees Fahrenheit, the National Weather Service has decided to escalate their normal advisory up to an "Idiot Warning" for the next two days. Advis...
As the twilight looms in the month of May, UK Met Office experts have warned of an impending heatwave, the likes of which have never been seen since last time. Weatherwatch spokesperson, Jenny Pendlebreast, explained that researchers have studied...
Large parts of the UK are set to enjoy temperatures of up to 81F (27C) this weekend thanks to a weather phenomenon know as the Spanish plume. Weather experts have warned that the conditions could have a massive effect on retail and catering. Th...
The Met Office has today issued a severe health warning as parts of the UK are set to see the mercury rise to a sultry 58 degrees Fahrenheit. The 400 page leaflet was produced amid growing concerns that a staggering 96% of British people fail to r...
During this evening's BBC Weather report, the whole nation breathed a sigh of relief to see that the good old NHS are providing a special helpline to give advice in relation to this weekend's expected heatwave. Temperatures are expected to reach 3...
With the news that today will be the hottest day in the history of Great Britain, forecasters are running out of countries to compare our current temperatures with. Monday saw temperatures exceed that of Greece, while Tuesday saw them soar past the S...
Famous for their hipshaking disco anthem 'Boogie Nights' the 70's funk group, Heatwave, are to play centre court at Wimbledon this Sunday, straight after the men's final. The ageing super group are urging all fans to be aware of overheating, espe...
As the UK swelters in levels of heat and humidity not seen for a long time, a secondary scourge has lashed UK residents - flies. The Met Office has delivered extreme weather warnings, but it appears nobody was prepared for the flies. The pesky...
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