The work of William Shakespeare - president of the old, dead, white guys club - has long been held in high regard, by snobs and blowhards alike, school children across the nation, encouraged by parents and forced by teachers to read the great man's g...
Bumblephuck, U.S. (FoxNews) - Despite the deluge of media coverage on the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370, most Americans still can't find Malaysia on a map of the world. Studies conducted over many years before the jet went missi...
Barry found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office. "It must be my first customer" Barry thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country. F...
For years, decisions for education have been made by legislators at the state and federal level. These legislators have little or no education experience, a fact that has caused several educators nationwide to feel very uncomfortable. "We would li...
FORT COLLINS, COLORADO - Colorado State University spokeswoman, Heather St. John, announced today that in light of changing employment needs in the U.S., CSU would be offering B.S. and. Master's Degrees in Cowboy Science. "Our enrollment has dro...
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - The Boston Consortium announced today that the U.S. is running out of Ph.D. positions. With a student count of 122,000, the Boston Consortium Schools report they cannot possibly guarantee their Ph.D. candidates jobs when they...
LEXINGTON, KY - Public school students everywhere may be getting a surprise soon. For many years, students have told their math teachers that math is useless, and will never be used in the real world. In 2014, teachers have decided they've he...
WASHINGTON, DC - The US Department of Education Secretary, Arne Duncan, announced today that Graduation requirements for US high school students would be eliminated to increase the graduation rate. Four new exams that will be required for graduati...
Washington, D.C. - Critics of America's public schools have long complained that there has been too much of an emphasis placed on the memorization and recalling of facts and very little attention given to promoting and teaching creativity to studen...
After failing to demonstrate an understanding of averages, Secretary of State for Education Michael Gove has defied critics by completing a series of maths problems, aimed at 4-5 year-old children. He added and subtracted with ease, and even tackled...
Well, In my previous editorial I "tackled" the topic of the elementary school in Michigan banning "tag" and other "chase-oriented" games. Now I have run across a recent article that addresses another "chase-oriented" game, one of America's favorite fall high school pastimes, football. In this case, however it's not the game itself that is being banned. It's a postgame tradition that is being...
Normally, I try to just stick to writing satire. I saw this story online and couldn't make anything up after reading it, other than my own reaction. The story vexed me so much it stifled my creativity, so here's what came of it. I recently ran across an article with the headline Elementary school outlaws playing tag, 'running in packs' The gist of the story was that some kindergarten teach...
Mercer County, N.J. - In an effort to increase standardized test scores and prevent a state takeover, a New Jersey school district has banned its students from asking questions in class. A letter from the superintendent announcing the ban was post...
Localtown, USA - An area wide ban on a dance craze called "twerking" has been enacted during homecoming season. School officials have decided that it has gotten so out of hand that even the use of the term "twerk", "twerking", or any variation of i...
A New Jersey father was beaten unconscious at a public meeting between parents and leaders of his child's school district after he dared to question the purpose of the new Common Core Standards being implemented there. "The Common Core standards w...
"Privacy is dead, and that's a good thing," pronounced U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan in his recent address to Congress regarding the content of dictionaries currently used in federally-funded public schools. "And our dictionaries should ref...
In The Secret of Wealth and Happiness, Hu Humpher, under the pen name Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy magazine, explains what led to his success: the Playboy Playmate. For anyone who may be visiting from another planet, a Playboy Playmate is a full-color, glossy, airbrushed photograph of a nude woman with a staple through at least one portion (and usually two) of her anatomy. She is also someti...
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