A SICK PERVERT who attempted to fake his own death by SELF-ABUSING himself for forty-eight hours was today sentenced to spend the rest of his life in a recently-carpeted bungalow in beautiful Lytham St Annes, AT YOUR EXPENSE! The MONSTER who canno...
Helping to launch a charity concert event at the Brooklyn Academy of Music, the Plastic Ono Band performed a single set of their not-so-greatest hits to open the show, while an open stage door apparently allowed every alley cat in a 3 block radius to...
A man was jailed for six months by Brighton magistrates for claiming benefits while he was working - or working when he should have been claiming benefits. It isn't absolutely clear which. Joseph Egg 47, of Rottingtooth Drive in the city was convi...
Leader of the Socialist Allied Coalition (SAC), Ben E. Fit, today called for revolution due to an apparent disapproval of politicians and bankers. "Yeah, man," the white dread-locked student said. "Those bankers are so greedy, we need to take them...
Derek in Accounts Payable was an excitable type, but only to a certain extent. When he rounded the corner to speak to Jason, his boss, colleague and friend he was more excited than normal. The fact that he kept his voice low to avoid others hearing was indicative that it was also something serious. "I've got it Jason! It just came out of the blue and punched me in the eye!" "What is i...
Thousands of Scottish job seekers, income support claimers and incapacity claimants have rallied to fight the proposed cut in Scottish benefits by the English Lords. In a statement from the Scottish Social Cost Analysis Board (SSCAB), Jinty McMony...
BEVERLY HILLS - Paula Abdul who was fired from the television reality show American Idol has reportedly applied for unemployment benefits including, money, dental care, health care, powdered eggs, and cheese. A clerk for the Los Angeles County Une...
Nine out of ten Brits claiming incapacity benefit are fit enough to work, a study has found. The majority of them were well enough to hold down a job, it has been revealed. The government can now slash the £12.5 billion a year cost to the taxpayer...
Hazel Blears survived a vote of no-confidence last night, and will remain as MP for Salford. Initially, the people of Salford were upset at Blears, who has repaid the thirteen thousand pounds she fiddled out of the expenses system in Whitehall. Ho...
Contrary to popular belief immigrants are far better off than good old native scroungers of this great country of ours. Yesterday I spoke to one example, Mohamad Zeep, who told me through an interpeter that he came here from Iraq three months ago and...
It has been revealed that self-righteous ITV evangelist Jeremy Kyle has invested over £5million of his personal fortune in research that could change the face of the criminal justice system - and move the fight against anti-social behaviour into the...
CRAWFORD, Texas - President George Bush has now joined the ranks of millions of Americans who are without a job. Mr. Bush walked into The Crawford Unemployment Agency, took a number (#14) and waited his turn to speak to an unemployment clerk.
RESIDENTS of a York street have reacted furiously to the decision by City of York Council's housing allocations team to give a tenancy to a family with no criminal record and no history of claiming benefits. Schoolteachers Christian and Harriet...
Department of Work and Pensions minister James Plaskitt, has defended Government plans to appoint mullet-headed Hawaiian crime fighter Dog Chapman and his enormous-breasted wife Beth, as figureheads of a new initiative to track down benefit cheats.
Today, Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II went to her local Job Centre, and registered herself as unemployed.
Jesus Da Pinta, the former drugs lord-turned-spiritual advisor, has appealed to West Midlands County Council to 'surrender or die' in his long-running dispute over housing benefit.
An estimated 1.8 billion people attended or watched broadcasts of pop concerts in more than 500 venues around the world on July 6 as part of "Live Earth", a global music marathon organized by former US vice president Al Gor...
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