Following on from the visit of HM The Queen to Ireland, the men of Ireland are now demanding a second visit, this time by Royal sister-in-law Pippa Middleton. The AIAI (Association of Irish Arse Inspectors) are up in arms that their membership, re...
Shergar, County Louse - A 500-gallon drum of the strong stuff has seen the Queen vow to inseminate flagging House of Windsor genomes. The Irish national equine center gift will hopefully inject some much-needed spunk into the current mutant bloodl...
The Queen expressed deep sympathy for the Irish people in her state banquet speech at Dublin Castle last night. The monarch was full of emotion as she spoke of her sorrow : I deeply sympathise with the Irish people in having to wear green everything - green ties, green jackets, even green underpants - it really is one of the most tiresome shades for one to have as one's national colour. A...
Dublin - Old HM Saggy-Boobs - as her hosts called her at Dublin Castle tonight - is in need of a major uplift. And hydraulically-engineered hoists should be built into her droopy 40GG-cup bra 'to stop the boobs dangling below elbow height'. "To...
Dublin - A geometrically fiendish crop circle depicting a classic 'Up Yours' V-sign has appeared on the pitch at Dublin's Croak (sic) Park. It emerged from the nethers just as the Queen arrived to gawp at the scene of the 1920 Bloody Sunday massac...
Dublin - Whorsewhisperers close to the Ballybollox Stud from which hapless dual Derby winner Shergar was sprung plan to release a video of the Buckingham Palace feast. This shows the Queen enjoying the stallion's 'Tipperary tendergroins' - raw tes...
Ever since the Queen learned she may be a distant relative of Johnny Depp, the Palace is a changed place. Decorum and tradition have gone out the window. "Ahoy, it's a new day," the Queen has announced to all who will listen. The Royal...
A woman has requested the borough of Kensington and Chelsea to rehouse her and her family because the house is too big. Elizabeth Windsor and her husband Phillip are said to be shagged out just getting to the breakfast table in the mornings. They are...
As you travel around Dublin City centre in the coming days you may notice that all is not what you though it was. One may notice that there is little or no suitable parking. Regular drivers will be aware of how unusual this is as normally one can park ones car any where with reckless abandonment in Dublin. The following parking arrangements have being put in place over the next few days the pol...
As soon as she heard experts say that she and Depp may be 20th cousins, Her Majesty took immediate action. Her fashion consultants were called in and ordered to design an array of Royal eye patches. "And throw out those flowery hats," the Quee...
London - 'What Is A Realm?' and 'Where is Lord Lucan ?' are some of the tricky items on the official Palace website that continue to flummox the old soak. An annual medical also questions HM's obsession with roadkill-themed ass-ymetrical headgear...
LONDON - A high ranking employee of Buckingham Palace has stated that the word at Buck House is that the queen is as angry as a disturbed hornet. The source said that ever since way before the Royal Wedding the queen has been extremely stressed ou...
LONDON - It seems that lately every time Queen Elizabeth turns around she is having to deal with yet another royal controversial issue. This time it concerns the Royal Wedding maid of honor Pippa Middleton the sister of Kate, the Duchess of Cambri...
It's true. The technology revolution has reached the highest seat of power in Great Britain. As might be expected, the Royal iPad 2 will be no ordinary iPad. Apple hasn't revealed all the specifics regarding the special creation, but the...
Against doctors advice, The Queen, who is eighty-five, returned to the saddle on Easter Monday to go horse riding in Windsor great park. The grand old lady insisted her recent three mile jogs around the park with Prince Philip had sufficiently lo...
Controversy surrounding weather management for the recent British Royal Wedding has reignited debate about the effect of petitionary prayer on global weather systems. London's weather forecast for the Royal Wedding day had been poor. Unofficial Pa...
The Royal Family, David Cameron, The people of the quintessentially English and Berkshire village Bucklebury, and that mental bloke who camped out for days on the pavement outside Westminster Abbey last week, have all been left reeling today followin...
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