Dearest Diana: Diana! Diana! Diana! I only have four words for you Ba-Don-Kit-Ty-Donk. Is that four words or five words. I’m sorry babes, my counting isn’t that good. I’m feelin’ the way you sing though and the fact that you’re always excited. Damn, you could be arrested on murder 1 and you’d still be smiling. Speaking of which, I never realized that Pleasantville was a real town until I he...
Dearest Fantasia: Damn baby. I met you at Sam’s BBQ and Grill in Rancho Cucamonga lat year. I couldn’t get a word in side ways because you preferred the corn bread to my one-liners. That’s all right though, I kinda like to hit the corn bread myself every now and then. So what’s up with the high pitched voice? Yeah, you’ve got that Macy Gray thing going on. Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! My walls are all...
Dear Jasmine: I know that Simon loves to player hate on you. I know that he likes to snore when you sing. That’s OK honey. I’m a writer now, but I used to be an assistant pimp, so I can have him silenced (if you know what I mean), just say the word. I know that Hawaii loves you so much, although I am baffled that the lieutenant governor would name a day after you, when there are hard worki...
Former American Idol contestants Jennifer Hudson and LaToya London are fighting back. Both of them were unfairly booted off the show.
As the third American Idol voting snafu in recent weeks, Paris Hilton has received 4.3 million votes, enough to make it into the finals. This was surprising considering Paris Hilton is not a contestant on American Idol.
The only music industry executive who actually deserves to change his name (from Clive Davis to "The Smackdown" or "Head Pimp In Charge") caused Simon Cowell, raconteur extraordinaire and future star of "The Limey 2", to have a heart attack early Wed...
John Stevens, the 16-year old crooner from East Amherst, NY and recent American Idol evictee, advanced past the first round of the WB's Superstar USA Monday Night. The show is an "untalent" contest, a nationwide search for the worst singer in America...
USA -- The whole country was in shock from 9:55 - 9:57 EST last night as LaToya London was voted off of American Idol. "Man, this i...
Omarosa has done it again. The Apprentice outcast will be joining Michael Jackson and Simon Cowell as judges on next season's American Idol and Simon isn't happy. Simon and Omarosa got into a feisty argument and your favorite writer KungFu Iceskat...
LOS ANGELES Wednesday May 12th 2004.
LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell was fired from American Idol this morning for sexually harassing Paula Abdul. Sources close to Miss Abdul say that she is livid. Apparently, six months ago, Simon bet Paula that he'd have her "spanking daddy" in bed, within...
Los Angeles - George Huff's run as American Idol finalist appears to be at an end. Best know for his deep baritone vocals and the ever-present "what's that up my butt" reaction to judges' critiques, Huff will be missed much less than former co...
Washington, DC-- At the end of American Idol last night, Ryan Seacrest told Americans to: vote as many times as they want to. P...
Somewhere in Texas, USA --...
Fresh from his remarks that US show American Idol is racist, Sir Elton John has hit out at children's TV programme 'Teletubbies', calling it 'filth' and 'xenophobic'.
Hollywood, Ca -- There is a new American Idol controversy behind the scenes that you may or may not know about. This Spoof reporter goes to th...
Last week, many American Idol fans were outraged when Jennifer Hudson was voted off the show. An investigation revealed that the votes for Hundson sent via text messaging were sent to an internet blender in Iowa, owned by local health nut Mavis Higg...
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