Recent concerns about the health of Baroness Thatcher have once again prompted fears that a coalition of senior Tories, Tabloid editors and those jerks who will do anything for a day off and the chance to wave a flag in public will force the rest of...
Academics are proud to announce that they have established the meaning behind glam metal band Aerosmith's most impenetrable lyric. "It took us years", admits Professor Simon Mullet of The Lowlands University (formerly Berwick Sixth Form College), "but we have established that Steven Tyler thinks that some bloke he knows looks a bit like a girl." Mullet says that the hours poring over Aerosmi...
During a speech at Westminster on Thursday, Labour MP David Lefty addressed the subject of Anglo-Canadian relations. "For years," Lefty remarked "Canada had a special place in our hearts as a a place that was a bit like America, but without the te...
A press release, made on behalf of Britain's more recent Universities, announced that while the actual degrees from these establishments will not be of any use until the day we run out of Andrex, they are leading the field in providing plausible, if...
A gallup poll today showed that if it were not for a needless surplus of petty, small minded bigots, the coalition would have been on its bike quite some time ago. Although the vast majority of Britons are now paying more tax, receiving less pay e...
The world of football was stunned last night when, tired, stressed and under pressure, a football manger made a slightly one-eyed and ill-judged comment. Bill McBain, who had just seen his team lose two points in a crucial relegation battle follow...
A national survey today found conclusive evidence that just about everything that has gone wrong is due to the involvement of a social worker. Government sources found that in many cases, tough, stringent fiscal measures have foundered due to the...
Chief Secretary to the Treasury Danny Alexander today explained candidly the background his political beliefs to lobby journalists at Westminster. Alexander spoke at an exclusive briefing arranged after his most recent hatchet job on behalf of what is in fact, a Conservative Government. Look, I accept that I work for the Tories, always agree with the Tories and constantly sound off in exactl...
Unhappy Liverpool fan Julian Cowell-Bennett, 39, is opening legal proceedings against Liverpool football club on the grounds that the club have failed to deliver on the promise given to him when he began supporting the club in September 1978, at the...
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