Breaking with a long-held tradition, Barack Obama will not attend the Memorial Day ceremony performed by every other American war-time President of laying the wreath upon the head gravestone at Arlington National Cemetery. Instead, Mr. Obama...
At Club Piranha in Hollywood, California, Chef Jorge Rodriguez found himself in a dire predicament last week when he received a load of shrimp believed to be contaminated by the BP Oil Spill. With only minutes to go until his dinner crowd was set to...
Last night insurgents using heavy rocket fire and AK-47s, launched a massive ground assault directed at what NATO troops refer to as, "the giant shit pond" located at Kandahar Air Field in Southern Afghanistan. Lance Corporal Lawrence Shannon...
Research scientists working at the Advanced Political Institute of Theory (APIT), have broken new ground in the field of female armpit hair as it relates to political power. At the moment, no one in the mainstream media knows for certain if E...
In response to the BP Oil Rig Explosion and the ensuing environmental disaster, world renowned environmentalist Al Gore has unveiled a new plan for Fast Action Response Teams to be able to counter attack against any future disasters. From hi...
United States and South Korean officials recently ended a three-month investigation into the sinking of a South Korean Naval vessel and came to the conclusion that a North Korean torpedo was to blame for the incident which killed eighty nine South Ko...
In a stunning reversal of the Clinton-Era, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy concerning the sexual preferences of U.S. Military personnel, the Obama Administration has decided to go with an all-gay force. Troops that are currently straight have thirty...
While recently discussing the necessity of dictators in American politics, Woody Allen lamented that Adolph Hitler was a man that has been misunderstood by World History. "People have a tendency to really blow things out of proportion when it...
In an effort to help get average Americans interested in exercise, the Obama Administration has named documentary filmmaker Michael Moore as the Presidential Fitness Czar. Long known for his highly accurate documentaries concerning everythin...
Well known for speaking on live television about her problematic, "vajayjay," it is being reported that Oprah Winfrey is under heavy pressure by Dr. Phil to release what he believes could be a secret weapon in the effort to plug the massive oil leak...
In anticipation of Supreme Court Nominee Elena Kagan's desire for world wide equality, one restaurant chain, where all the wait-staff have big hooters, has ordered that all its waitresses gain at least ten to fifteen pounds by the end of the month, o...
Two time Super Bowl winning quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of the Pittsburgh Steelers has recently opened a charm school for athletes. Located in downtown Pittsburgh near several bars and adult cabarets, the sign outside the door simply reads, "Ben R...
In an effort to win over the hearts and minds of potential Infidel sympathizers, Al-Qaeda has begun the process of developing a new environmentally sensitive car bomb. Spokes-Terrorist Ali Ahmed Akbar, recently unveiled the new design at a car show...
Until a few weeks ago, most Americans were only dimly aware that Greece still existed anywhere other than that strange mythological place known as, "Ancient History." Today, as if by Zeus-like magical powers, Americans are now part owners in what som...
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