It has been announced that no fruitcakes will be allowed on International flights from now on. Does this mean the end to air travel as a mode of transportation currently enjoyed by Spoof Writers, Richard Simmons,Clay Aiken and the rest of the gay...
Something is really rotten in US-world relations. Despite their attempt to portray themselves as fair-but-tough, no-nonsense, self-appointed moral policemen of the world, the plain fact is that America is simply unable to treat others with basic res...
Washington DC: A Federal Court in the District of Columbia heard the case of Airline Passengers Vs Transportation Security Administration (TSA) Administrator John S. Pastole. The TSA Administrator was charged with violating the Fourth Amendment right...
A TSA agent ended up with a hand full of goo when his fascination for shiny objects got the best of him. It started when a man headed to a flight was going through the scatter x-ray machine, bells and whistles went off and it apparently had the s...
WASHINGTON - Homeland Security Czar, Janet Napolitano, announced today that because of ancient Muslim beliefs, pat-downs of the left buttock of all Middle-Easterners will not be tolerated; this because of the Crusades during the 13th century where Ch...
TSA announced that holiday traveling went smoothly because free alcohol was given to passengers before every frisking. "Alcohol has the power to make painful things feel not so painful. Sure, a few people might have a higher tolerance to alcohol...
(LAX) - In a scene straight out of Hollywood, distracted airport security police officers neglected to properly screen a pair of travelers who closely resembled Sarah Palin and Gillian McKeith this past weekend. The two allegedly were smuggling Th...
DALLAS - Transportation Security Administration Inspector Agent Rhett Leland Mashflicker, 43, proudly boasted to fellow TSA pat down inspectors Rufus Socketshank, 29, and Gwyneth Muddyheimer, 24, that he holds The Dallas-Fort Worth International Airp...
SAN FRANCISCO - Lady Gaga had just finished performing at the famous Cow Pasture Palace in San Francisco when she was asked about her 'pat down' incident down at LAX Airport in Los Angeles. Gaga told a reporter for West Coast Mirror magazine, Sigo...
Amid growing outrage over pervasive airport security measures, including groping pat-down body searches and overly-revealing body scans, a spokesperson for the Transportation Security Administration announced today that there is a method to their mad...
When polled, flyers across the nation are concerned about the long term effects from the full body scans being conducted in airports. One long term frequent flyer voiced his worries, "when I go to the dentist they drape me in lead, how's this diff...
In a leaked memo from the TSA, a report indicates that thirty percent of the people in the TSA screening lines are just there for the pat down! The TSA has tried to suppress the news but many airports around the country are reporting the same phenome...
LOS ANGELES - Comedian Joan Rivers, who claims to be 77, but who some media reporters say might actually be 87, recently found herself in the X-ray scanner line at L.A.'s LAX Airport. Rivers apparently set off the scanner and she was immediately r...
CHICAGO - Since the recent implementations of the Transportation Security Administrations 'pat down' policy Chicago's O'Hare Airport is now being referred to by travelers as O'No Airport. A passenger identified as Tiara Sue Sinnybazoo, 28, of Lick...
If you are planning on traveling any time soon, you may as well count on having to wait in the security lines longer, a lot longer due to the advent of the full-body scans and pat downs. Security workers at the nation's major airports are reported...
NEW YORK CITY - Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh has made it clear that he will not allow airport TSA agents to openly 'Fundle' him during their pat down procedure. Limbaugh has said that the only person who he will allow to touch his mal...
ATLANTA - The Transportation Security Administration has announced that they are not happy about the fact that M.C. Hammer's 1989 hit song "U Can't Touch This" has become the anti-TSA pat down anthem. TSA spokesperson Clovis Baxter Shamnoodle stat...
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