HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a study this week that maintains that injecting the feces of a healthy person into another person suffering from a rare intestinal ailment may actually help the person kick the bug. Clostridium diffici...
Leading British medical bodies, concerned about high levels of alcohol-related health problems, are calling for more ice to be used in drinks. An increase of 50 per cent more ice in an average glass of beverage bought in pubs and bars would reduc...
Scientists and hospital staff are baffled this evening as Hugo Mountbatten, 41 from Wigan, continues to talk in overly complex medical jargon after prolonged contact with the BBC medical drama series 'Holby City'. The bar owner, from the Pemberton...
Since the MMR scandal, the UK press have been trying to make up for their immense misreporting cockup not by making bold retractions and apologies, but by seeking further evidence for autism being definitely caused by some ludicrous, single hidden da...
There are reports that male Republicans are being attacked and swallowed up by giant vaginas. The flying sex organs have been spotted in several major cities across the U.S. In what appears to be a kind of subversive sting operation, the female genit...
Celebrations were in full flow at the Grey Locks nursing home in Krupton today as four residents all gave birth to bouncing babies on the same day. Agnes Smith, aged ninety six, who underwent her first ever Caesarian to give birth to baby Karen s...
In this week's case study, Doctor Sinnick highlights the health issues caused by not looking beautiful enough. She complained to me that her figure was not, what it used to be - it had gone to pot Her nose was too long, her face was wrong, her bust was too small and that wasn't all Her legs were fat and her bottom flat where she always sat, her arms were like sticks and extremely thin, while...
Shanghai, China (SAPP) - Using a new technology developed in Huashan Hospital in Shanghai, China, researchers have shown conclusively that fetuses prefer abortion. After studying 3,666 fetuses, Dr. Tan Jun and fellow doctors in the abortion department of Huashan Hospital concluded that over 91% of them preferred abortion. During the grueling research, Dr. Tan and his team of experts designed a...
Named Disease: HAJ (Had-a-job) Syndrome Symptoms: Being made redundant through no fault of your own, suicidal feelings, lack of food, and the disappearance of respect. Election of Coalition or Tory government. Most at Risk: The proletariat, anyone not related to, a banker or a friend of a Politician. This disease can become permanent especially in the 3.4 million of unemployed. Area's most affe...
Starting in Europe, a sharp rise in medical emergencies was detected in at least seven countries beginning this February 14, Valentines Day. The trend has reportedly continued west into Canada and the United States but is apparently affecting only...
Reported this week in a new medical study, there is a terrifying rise in rectal explosions among aging members of the baby boomer population. Younger generation X and Y citizens are beginning to wonder if they might be next. Dr. Andy Fluscht, res...
Pensioner Al Bidedsoon, sent this letter to the JCP (Jobcentre plus) offices, explaining why he was not currently seeking employment. Dear Sir or Madam or Combination of both or either person, In reply to your letter asking me to supply the reason for my not having applied for a job for 5 months: Apart from the frustration of getting no interviews to my 208 applications sent off in the pr...
Following on from a previous story, a second fatality has arisen as a result of the Vinnie Jones 'Stayin Alive' resuscitation advert. For those who haven't seen the advert, viewers are advised to compress the chest of the unconscious victim and de...
Tragedy struck today on the streets of London, after an American tourist suffered a heart attack and was then finished off by a well meaning teenager trying to administer first aid. The victim, Barry Goldfinch, 47, had complained of feeling unwell...
A newly published study in medical journal The Lancelot reveals that Italian males are 60% more likely to suffer from gesticular cancer than any other national group. The condition was also found to be more prevalent in regions with Italian immigrat...
Doctorates A One-Act Play The curtain opens on a group of young students gathering around a rather old man downstage left. They are dressed as though they were from Ancient Greece. The surroundings are rather pastoral. Pupil 1: Tell us another story, Master. Pupils: Oh yes....please.....Yes, yes. A lesson.... Master: Well now....let me see...Ah! Yes! Pupil 2:...
Polite doctors produce healthier patients, studies of staff behaviour in hospitals have found. Andrew Klein, an American liver surgeon, writing in the Archives of Surgery, said doctors who were rude to staff negatively affected operations. "Wel...
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