Mitt Romney, speaking in front of the National Society for Effective Consumerism last Sunday, outlined his plan for a U.S. response to the European debt crisis. "I mean really, dealing with this debt issue in Europe would be a piece of cake," sa...
BERLIN - Anonymous sources close to Merkel report that she is brow-beating her staff for the correct word to describe what she wants to call the "Even More Unified European Union". The penalty for being politically incorrect in word choice is un...
Angry tourists gathered in Athens today as it emerged that Greece has ceased trading. The news emerged as German bailiffs closed in to recover unpaid bailout funds. In the words of one, Mr Hans Offenkraut: "When we broke into the country this...
ATHENS - Today, the Greek government has decided to take "extreme" measures to address its financial problems. A three-pronged legal attacks is expected to be filed Monday in every major world capital, "Demanding back payments for centuries worth of...
It is looking increasingly likely that Greece, sooner or later, will leave the eurozone. One of their leaders, Democratios Roussos, warned of the dangers if they didn't, citing low points in the popular Eurovision song Contest. Drastic measures h...
Having been beaten by twenty-four of the twenty-six countries taking part in the 2012 Eurovision song contest Engelbert Humperdinck has revealed why he agreed to take part. The Hump, as he is affectionately known by his Spine Osteopath, managed a...
A clan of destructive "fairytale" dwarfs are causing carnage throughout Europe. Their first sightings were said to be in Germany on February 25th where a American tourist was burnt to a crisp by one of the dwarfs. They have later been spotted in F...
A Europe-wide TV channel is to be launched next week, featuring the very best in European interest programming. The channel, to be called EURO-TV, will do its best to avoid the problems encountered by similar now-defunct channels. Those problems were largely caused by the multilingual nature of Europe. EURO-TV will try to avoid these by not broadcasting any speech. Entertainment will be provid...
FRANKFURT, Germany - The European Central Bank announced at a joint press conference today with Hasbro (NASDAQ: HAS) a new partnership to restore credibility to the European money supply and ensure the future safety of the Eurozone. The plan is to...
Atlantic Ocean - Our source, Micky Splainit aboard the S.S. Dollylop, a pipeline building vessel dispatched by the Federal Reserve, reports that construction of a pipeline capable of pumping a trillion dollars per day to Germany is nearly completed.
Berlin, Germany: Germany and France, desperate to find money to save the European Union from bankruptcy, are about to declare war upon each other. The war will be staged to bring in the Americans to, as usual, save France and flood the European count...
"Tally-ho!" yelled Flashman as he wrestled the evil Bosch Merkel. Her muscular arms attempted to hold him in a headlock but his chin was able to wriggle free. "Take that!" he squeaked, punching her in the stomach and ducking out through the side-door, treaty in hand. He faced his nemesis, the midget Sarkozy. "Oh god, not you!" he said snottily. Sarkozy took off his metal-brimmed hat and tri...
After a valiant effort England Goalkeeper, David Cameron had to admit defeat in Europe. There was dispute as to whether the score was 23-1 or 26-1 because several offside 'goals' have yet to be assessed but it was a pretty clear defeat. Not to be...
In an attempt to solve the debt crisis in the Eurozone, the Higgs Boson is to be adopted as the new currency. Difficulty in producing the particle, and the fact that it may not even exist are sure to increase its value, which should boost the Eurozon...
As the Eurozone crisis deepens and the French and Germans seek draconian new powers to bring about a single European economy and extensive cultural unification, Britain has, finally, looked to protect its own interests. After British Prime Ministe...
Sir Alex Ferguson has joined hands with the British PM in a political show of solidarity by proving that Britain doesn't need Europe, it's debts, the Champions League or Angela Merkel for that matter too. David Cameron sent Sir Alex a congratulati...
After last ditch efforts to avert a conflict Britain has declared war on Germany. In a statement to a hushed House of Commons Prime Minister Cameron David declared : 'It is with regret that I have to tell you that peace negotiations over Europe be...
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