Greece to leave Eurozone

Funny story written by dulcie gabbani

Monday, 28 May 2012

It is looking increasingly likely that Greece, sooner or later, will leave the eurozone. One of their leaders, Democratios Roussos, warned of the dangers if they didn't, citing low points in the popular Eurovision song Contest.

Drastic measures have already been taken to try to stave almost certain financial meltdown. One of Greece's most iconic monuments, The Acropolis in Athens has already been sold to Premier Inns for an estimated £25m. A spokesman for Premier told us that the original asking price was £850m, but after having a structural survey done on the site a new, much lower price was agreed.

Barrett Homes have been awarded the contract to get the building finished, and estimate they will be done in less than 2 months. Site manager Stavros Bogittabit, the man in charge told us " Once we get a roof on the place, pop in a few windows here and there, give it a bit of TLC and before you know it, guests will chinking their glasses in the bar, and trying to avoid Lenny Henry. Sorted.

We asked some leaders round Europe for their views.

New French premier M. Francois Hollande Pies said,"Greeks, I piffle on them. I would not go on 'oliday there."

A posh UK spokesman , who wished to remain in power, commented "My pal, Boy George and I are frightfully aware of the grandeur that was Greece. I mean, gosh just look at their columns - so many different styles. It's all Greek to me. What a tragedy."

In Greece itself a veteran political leader Melinda Mercurios Messenger, helpfully explained "Apo acropolis calamarios con tiki retsina stifada, Hellas paxos drachmatos." which translates as "They've flogged the Acropolis, and all we have got left of our culture is calamari, retsina, and bloody stifado". "Greece is well and truly stuffed".

Wise and prophetic words that may come back to haunt us all.

Meanwhile in Italy there were scenes of utter indifference. An ageing lothario, Hiyosilver Bellendusconi, waved to the women in the crowd, unaware of any problems with the Greek economy.

When A. Merkel was asked if she had any plans to invade Greece, she replied," Again? After all that fuss last time? You people just wont let us get on with our favourite national pastime."

A merchant banker of no repute added, "The fiscal deliverance of their proposed budgetary ambivalence is unlikely to culminate in tax or newspaper cuttings as heralded.

Legendary Greek songstress Banana Mascara, 97, was unavailable for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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